Author Topic: Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - Chapter Three Updated - 10/18/10  (Read 19545 times)

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - Chapter Three Updated - 10/18/10
« on: September 21, 2010, 11:32:47 PM »
Because Ryuu had to go and encourage me. You've crossed the point of no return, I tell you!

Anyhoo.

Backstory, from the Love Thread: I impressed my Creative Writing professor so much (with something I thought was 'good' at best, no less!) that she asked me to read it aloud.

That's an awful back story. Anyway, we were listening to The Planets by Gustav Holst for inspiration. We happened to be finishing it up and hit up Neptune at the end.

Well, I couldn't think of anything and utterly bombed (i.e. so bad that it's not getting mentioned/I'm probably going to re-do the concept) with Uranus, so I figured the same would happen with Neptune.

Holy crap was I wrong (see the above post from the Love Thread).

Anyhoo, because I've rambled on enough, here it is.

Also, please note: The only things I knew off the top of my head about Murasa is that she was dead and she knew how to sink ships. So this may be completely non-canon!

The Ghost of the Shipwreck

There are many beautiful things in the sea; there are also many awful things. However, nothing shared both traits, save for an ancient, broken ship. Out of spite, it defied the waves, refusing to sink entirely; one end jutting from the water. Was this to remind its sole inhabitant of the rocks, jagged and unforgiving, that took not only the ship's life, but also the life of everyone aboard?

She did not know. Looking at the sea through thick, seaweed-like hair, she knew only one thing: Loneliness, the sole reason she sent passing ships to their deaths. She, the ghost of the shipwreck, wished to be seen. She wished to be freed.

</prose>

I may, on my professor's advice, end up adding another paragraph, to show her relationship with the boat (bound to it, unable to leave, etc).

So, tear away at it, my good you people!
« Last Edit: October 19, 2010, 02:38:11 PM by Definitely Satori »

Matsuri

Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2010, 11:39:33 PM »
An interesting idea. I'd like to see what you can do with it! :3

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2010, 11:42:45 PM »
At the most, it's gonna be a grand total of maybe a page or so. I may (emphasis on that for reasons I'll explain later) flesh it out detailing it from pre-death, to around the time when Byakuren's ship finds her.

Maybe. Because I don't trust myself with a character's personality enough to write fanfiction (then again, that's never stopped anyone before... And isn't /always/ awful... And ZUN does leave a lot of holes for us to fill in~)

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2010, 12:13:35 AM »
Maybe. Because I don't trust myself with a character's personality enough to write fanfiction (then again, that's never stopped anyone before... And isn't /always/ awful... And ZUN does leave a lot of holes for us to fill in~)

You're new to PSL, aren't you? :3

Matsuri

Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2010, 12:14:21 AM »
Well, if you do go through with it, I look forward to reading it!  :3

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2010, 01:08:49 AM »
You're new to PSL, aren't you? :3

>>;

Well, if you do go through with it, I look forward to reading it!  :3

Yay, people like my stuff! I'm almost tempted to write something silly and decidedly non-Touhou and pop it somewhere, then link it t'y'all... (Or, a potentially more fun option, replace the OCs with Touhous. Which would actually be a lot more work in the long run!)

MysTeariousYukari

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2010, 01:12:29 AM »
Your new to PSL as well? Welcome aboard! I'm new as well :D

I like it so far :)

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
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  • It shall rise again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2010, 01:15:02 AM »
>>;

What I was getting at was 'Don't be nervous, there's no such thing as a stupid fic (within reason)'.

Go nuts! That's the whole allure of Gensokyo. It's vague enough for us to fill in the holes ourselves; show us what you came up with.

There're a few people who like to stick to canon around here, but they're polite enough to not stomp around and spit on everyone who takes a creative spin on things. Write the rest of it, please!

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2010, 01:21:05 AM »
It may be that I'm listening to inspiring as crap music, but I like how all of you think. Except Definitely Satori, to hell with that guy!

... ahem. Anyhoo, I think I'll do a bit of writing, most likely to Holst's Neptune composition again, and post it when it's done!

Thanks for the encouragement, all; I've really wanted to get back into writing in a big, big way.

Matsuri

Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2010, 01:25:45 AM »
That's great to hear. Go for it!

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2010, 01:35:59 AM »
It may be that I'm listening to inspiring as crap music, but I like how all of you think.
I'm the unofficial god-father of PSL, and one of the official cheerleaders. It's what I do.


Quote
Except Definitely Satori, to hell with that guy!
ಠ_ಠ SCUSE ME SIR WTF ARE YOU DOIN
There will be NO self-deprecation in this Library. Not on my watch.

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2010, 02:10:36 AM »
ಠ_ಠ SCUSE ME SIR WTF ARE YOU DOIN
There will be NO self-deprecation in this Library. Not on my watch.

I do it for the lulz, because I was entirely too serious in my first post. (A man who titles a story-to-be Burning Hot-Blooded Fighting Sentai Man - Captain Retro! is not allowed to be so serious in non-writing text.)

</selfplugging>

Alfred F. Jones

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2010, 03:21:44 AM »
(within reason)
Get out. >:< There will be no such thing as "reason" in PSL as long as I've got anything to say about it.

I admit I rushed over from the love thread to PSL as soon as I saw that you would post this story here. :3 I wanna see more, yes.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2010, 03:23:38 AM »
Get out. >:<

Well, I mean, there are some fics here that are intentionally bad. Even then, they're not removed, redacted, recycled, whatever. They're kept here. So literally, there really IS no 'stupid fic' here.

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2010, 03:28:14 AM »
It's true. I think I've only ever recycled one fic, and that was at the writer's request. Aside from special cases like that, though, there is no such thing as a 'stupid fic'. PSL isn't snooty enough for that. :justasplanned:

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #15 on: September 22, 2010, 03:46:01 AM »
Well, I obliterated my own entry in the Librarian thread, but that's because it was very much an uncut gem.

It's currently getting polished, though.

Also, we're flooding this poor chaps' thread! Though it's mostly encouragement, we're also kind of

OH WHO AM I KIDDING I'M THE ONE GOING OFF ON A TANGENT

*Esifex headwalls*

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #16 on: September 22, 2010, 03:58:41 AM »
EDIT:

I'm about halfway done with the first 'chapter,' sadly a headache has put me at a standstill when it comes to thinking about anything more than just breathing (see my post in the rage thread), so I'll probably be able to get something up either late tonight or sometime t'morrow.

Apologies for the delay, etc etc.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2010, 12:11:01 AM by Definitely Satori »

Ryuu

  • time for kittyrina lessons
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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2010, 05:36:02 PM »
oh god I missed this thread

I apologize

but if you don't continue this I'm gonna have to hit you with a boat

http://ryuukyunplaysstuff.tumblr.com/ read about me playing league i guess

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2010, 05:42:04 PM »
Physically lift the boat and smack me, or drive (sail?) it into me?

I've got what is essentially the first chapter done... on paper. :V So, I'll type it up today and hopefully edit it all properly-like and have it posted!

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2010, 05:43:36 PM »
pssst I'm still getting gibberish machine code from the emails, if you want me to look it over, send it via PM

Ryuu

  • time for kittyrina lessons
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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #20 on: September 24, 2010, 05:43:48 PM »
Physically lift the boat and smack me, or drive (sail?) it into me?

the second.

followed immediately by the first.

http://ryuukyunplaysstuff.tumblr.com/ read about me playing league i guess

Matsuri

Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2010, 06:14:54 PM »
EDIT:

I'm about halfway done with the first 'chapter,' sadly a headache has put me at a standstill when it comes to thinking about anything more than just breathing (see my post in the rage thread), so I'll probably be able to get something up either late tonight or sometime t'morrow.

Apologies for the delay, etc etc.

No worries. Focus on feeling better! o/'

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #22 on: September 24, 2010, 06:20:32 PM »
pssst I'm still getting gibberish machine code from the emails, if you want me to look it over, send it via PM

Will do/again, damned be Word and whatnot.

No worries. Focus on feeling better! o/'

Thankfully, I am! And thanks for the concern!

the second.

followed immediately by the first.

Awesome. That is the best way to get smacked by a boat ever.

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck
« Reply #23 on: September 24, 2010, 07:41:17 PM »
The Ghost of the Shipwreck

Chapter I

Minamitsu Murasa was desperate, standing around the makeshift soup kitchen. As she reached the front of the line to get something to eat, one of the volunteers struck up a conversation with her.

?Any luck with a job, miss??

?Huh?? She blinked, returning to reality. ?Oh, no, nothing yet, anyway.? Murasa sighed. ?I?ve been here for about five years now, and still nobody?s offered me a job The worker nodded, frowning. She noticed another volunteer come in from outside, and chose to take her break at that time, following Murasa to a nearby table, eager to continue the conversation. ?Thanks, by the way.? Murasa smiled slightly, pushing her short, dark hair out of the way. ?It?s good to have someone to talk to.?

?Of course,? the volunteer smiled warmly. ?So, how?s your family??

?They?re still around, writing every now and then to ask how I?m doing and if I want to come back home,? she paused for a moment, ?which I don?t, to be honest. I couldn?t face them if I did.? Murasa had an odd sense of pride about having left home to pursue a life in this city, claiming that she?d find a well-paying job soon. Apparently, according to whoever cursed her with unemployment, five years still counted as ?soon.? There was no way she could go back to her family until she did something to better her situation.
An hour passed as her and the volunteer spoke idly about an assortment of trivial topics: How the innkeeper Murasa was staying with was doing, the weather, the old fishmonger?s latest sale, and the fact that ? being close to the end of the month ? the trade ships would be back soon. The two enjoyed these conversations. For Murasa, it allowed her to stop thinking about trying to find some sort of income; for the volunteer, it allowed her to connect with the people she was helping. Finally, the conversation turned back to Murasa?s troubles.

?Argh,? she dropped her head on the old wooden table, her dark hair spreading out in front of her. She spoke in a muffled voice. ?I just want something better than this. No offense, I like you and the innkeeper and all, but?? She beat her head against it a few more times, speaking in time with the thudding noise. ?I just want some employment and a nice little place to live and to stop being so lanky and boy-ish.? She looked up, chin still resting on the table. ?I know a job can?t fix that, but damnit, a girl of my age should not have the figure of a teenage boy!? The volunteer stifled a laugh, looking away. ?It?s not funny?? She whined for a moment, blinked, then jumped up from the table.

?Is everything alright, Miss Murasa?? The volunteer stood up slowly and took Murasa?s empty bowl. Murasa nodded and looked out the door. It was still fairly close to noon.

?Good. Still got time for my daily job hunt.? She grinned. Today is going to be the day I get hired. Definitely. No chance of anyone saying I lack experience. She ran out the door and began her search. As she did every day, she started it with the old fishmonger who had set up a stand by the harbor.
?I?m sorry, miss, but you lack the experience,? the old fishmonger said. ?My people want a man who knows the difference between a halibut and a tuna; they want someone who knows when, where, and how a fish is best cooked and eaten. Maybe get a few years on a boat, and then come back.? He patted her shoulder and handed her a bag, likely containing an undefined, fantastic object. Of course, it just contained fish, as she could tell by the smell. ?But if you?ll run that over to the inn you?re stayin? at, I may be able to give you some advice.? He nodded out toward the docks, grinning. When he looked back, Murasa had left, leaving only a trail of dust in her wake.

It may not be much, she thought, sprinting through the streets and nearly running into several people, stands, and carts; her short, dark hair trailed behind her as she ran. But advice is advice! That old man?s been good to me, so he must know of some place that can get me a job. She?d been so preoccupied with the very concept of employment that she ran a good two blocks past where she was supposed to drop the fish off at. Of course, by the time she realized this, her muscles were on fire and she was out of breath, so she decided to leisurely walk back to the inn, smiling brighter than she?d ever smiled before on the way back. However, she quickly became impatient and broke into another run, despite it killing her legs, after only a few minutes of walking.

Murasa, not wanting to waste any time, burst into the inn and charged into the back, heading for the kitchen. She dropped the fish and spun on her heel, nearly falling in the process, and bolted back out without saying so much as a ?Hello? to the numerous people inside. She hadn?t the time to be distracted by chit-chat and manners, she had a mission. However, she did have time to be distracted by her own thoughts, as she contemplated what the old fishmonger said.

Advice, huh? She slowed, and then stopped to rest her back against a wall in order to catch her breath, a decision which soon led to her sliding down the wall and sitting for a few minutes.

He was looking at the dock about the time he said that. Does that mean he found a job for me on one of the ships? She paused, frowning at the realization of the date. It was near the end of the month, when the fishing boats came back. He very well could have just been keeping an eye out for his shipment. A new thought sprung into her head. A job hauling fish, maybe? But, she thought as she bit her lip. That would only last me a few weeks at the most? She blinked a few times and looked up to the slowly setting sun, realizing that it wasn?t just the end of the month; it was nearing the end of the day. She had to hurry back or else she?d miss the old man. With a determined look in her eye, she spoke to herself.

?Murasa, stop overthinking this. Stand up, and run like hell so you don?t miss out on a job.? She pushed her dark hair out of her eyes, matting it down with the sweat she?d accumulated from running from one end of the city to the other in the heat of the day. Pushing herself from the wall, she stood and brushed off her clothing and, indeed, proceeded to run like hell, putting her earlier sprint to shame.

A few minutes passed and she?d arrived at the old man?s stand. Granted she was exhausted, breathless, and nearly tripping over her own feet, but she made it. That was good enough for her. The old man waved with a gnarled hand, laughing heartily as she fell against one of the poles holding a canopy over their heads. He patted her shoulder, an action that led to her knees buckling, nearly knocking her over in the process.

?From my fish stand, to that inn way out on the horizon,? he squinted as he looked toward the inn, barely able to make out its roof in the distance. ?You took a cart, somehow magically flew, or have some amazing legs and lungs on yourself, girl.? He turned, digging around under his bench and threw a rag at her. It proceeded to hit her head and drape over her face for a bit before she wiped herself down.
?Y-y-yeah?? Murasa nodded breathlessly. She was barely able to speak through the thick rag. ?If only I could fly, huh?? She weakly tossed the rag back to him, forcing the old man to lean over his stand to get it. ?So?? She took a deep breath, coughing hard. ?How about that advice?? She grinned as the old man looked out to the docks. She followed his gaze and could guess at his answer.


- End Chapter One -

So, feel free to toss your thoughts, etc out. Also, I love Esif for making the formatting not be a silly bastard and giving me advice such as 'it's easier to not use indented paragraphs when copypasting to a forum'.

And honestly, it looks it (because the indents got screwed up and those took about five minutes to five on their own :derp:). So, thanks much to all of you, and enjoy.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2010, 06:26:44 PM by Definitely Satori »

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - New Chapter 9/24/10
« Reply #24 on: September 24, 2010, 08:03:46 PM »
Hell, if I keep up this chain of proofreading, I may just end up wanting to start writing again, myself.

Ryuu

  • time for kittyrina lessons
  • time to press r again
Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - New Chapter 9/24/10
« Reply #25 on: September 24, 2010, 08:12:26 PM »
I greatly enjoy this.


Delicious Murasa origin is delicious.

http://ryuukyunplaysstuff.tumblr.com/ read about me playing league i guess

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - New Chapter 9/24/10
« Reply #26 on: September 24, 2010, 09:13:45 PM »
Hell, if I keep up this chain of proofreading, I may just end up wanting to start writing again, myself.

Yay I'm inspiring people! Or something. I'm somethinging.

I greatly enjoy this.


Delicious Murasa origin is delicious.

Yay people enjoy this! Or someth- I'll shut up. :V

But yeah, origin fics are always fun to do because there's so damn little about them known. Like with YellowYoshi's (I think it's him...) Prismriver origin fic. We know a grand total of, like, three things about the origin of the Prismrivers: They're poltergeists, Layla made them after her sisters left, Layla is dead.

And it really helps flex the creative muscles because you can laugh at canon (or the lack thereof) and kick it in the face, call it a bitch and do your own thing! 8)

Tengukami

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - New Chapter 9/24/10
« Reply #27 on: September 24, 2010, 09:19:49 PM »
I hope these responses have given you the encouragement to keep going. You're off to a brilliant start here.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Myschi

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - New Chapter 9/24/10
« Reply #28 on: September 24, 2010, 09:24:36 PM »
They have, now it's just about becoming un-lazy enough t'do it. :ohdear:

Well, rather, to not procrastinate a lot and then leave everyone waiting for nothing. I mentioned something (again, I believe it was in YellowYoshi's Prismriver fic) about saying 'to hell with planning!'. ... That only works for base, vague concepts, apparently.

Honestly, I don't think I would've even gotten this far without pre-writing a bunch of stuff, an outline, and of course, all of you guys. Because you are the best collective person ever.

Marin The Magus

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Re: The Ghost of the Shipwreck - New Chapter 9/24/10
« Reply #29 on: September 24, 2010, 11:36:30 PM »
Okay, I spend my hours reading fics/books in english, and I'll tell you: You are really good at writting. The way you described her life was reaaaally nicely-done. I could picture the way Murasa lived, and that was because of your good writting. Artists transmit feelings, and lemme tell you something, I could totally feel Murasa ( if you miraculously can understand me). Also, I could see that in some little parts of the stories (the ones that really don't change anything, but make the story more complete) you could write the things in a way that you...ummm...how to say this? Make them believable, but in some sort of weird way. Like, you gave life to the story by just adding those things.
And well, the story...I think it is really intersting, and that it has lots of potential. It is already good, you started with a good idea, and it seems like you really thought about it ( don't you deny it~) Besides, you payed attention to the details of the story, you gave it a background,  you didn't just got into the action, which is - at least to me - a good thing.