Author Topic: The Element of Suprise  (Read 5495 times)

Vicks

  • Hurr Durr
  • WRYYYY
The Element of Suprise
« on: May 09, 2010, 03:17:21 PM »
?There you go. All done! ?

Those were the first words I heard in my life. The old man stepped away from me as he admired his work. I wanted to ask him what was going on, who he was, who I was, but as I tried to speak, no words came out. Just as I was about to panic, the old man put a large mirror of me. ?How do you like it?? he grinned at me as I slowly comprehended the reality.

In front of me was not a reflection of a human. Rather, it was a reflection of a large, if rather goofy looking purple umbrella.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I soon learnt that the old man?s name was Asahi Tatara, the loony old shopkeeper in the village I was created in. Famous for treating every product and item he created as his own child, his shop was mainly visited by children, who were always intrigued and fascinated by the wondrous, if slightly bizarre products he had. From thousands of paper dolls he had painstakingly folded to intricately carved wooden swords, all of them were showered by the amount of attention the children gave them. Every doll, every product, the children loved it.

Except me. Back then, I was nothing more than a novelty umbrella. Asahi had created me as another toy, though he had obviously failed to see the fact that no one would want me. I wasn?t just an umbrella, I had what seemed to be a large eye painted on me, and a long, prehensile tongue sticking out of me (I remembered him saying I was supposed to resemble a youkai called a Karakasa, or an umbrella demon). Boys had no interest in toy umbrellas, and the girls who wanted one would get turned away by my features. But never once did I complain. Asahi continued to show me attention, carefully dusting me off, asking me how I felt, whether I wanted to be placed here or over there. My life during then was simple, and I wished for nothing more.

Of course, like an old saying goes, ?Easy come, easy go?. About 30 years had passed, and Asahi soon passed away. His shop was soon taken over by his son and grandson, and those 60 years were the worst times of my life. They were nothing like Asahi. Both son and grandson were as equally money-minded, and closed down the toy shop, changing it into a trading post. And then one day, they decided to get rid of all his ?junk?.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to shake them, to punch them and yell at them. How dare they throw me out of the shop! I had lived in there longer than they ever had, and then now they just do this? Of course back then, I was still an ordinary umbrella, and could do nothing more than randomly open up, shocking anyone who actually bothered to look at me. I just lay there motionless as they proceeded to dump me at the back of the house, a storm brewing overhead.

They had thrown me into a corner, which was exactly where I wanted to be. I couldn?t stand looking at the world anymore. I had spent decades in the shop, had the miracle of a life being blown into me, and now this? Was my destiny just to be dumped on the ground, to slowly rot into nothingness?

Just then, I felt a hand grab my handle. Almost instinctively, I burst open, eliciting a small ?Eep!? from the person, as I was launched into the air, landing on the ground. As I slowly rolled on the ground, I saw the person. A young girl, probably around 5 or 6 years old. Her hair was light blue, short but neatly kept. However, the most distinctive feature was her eyes. They were both light blue, almost like the sky. I had never seen anyone like that. Right now though, she looked slightly pitiful, her equally blue dress stained with mud, with the rain coming down heavy on us. There was an awkward moment as we both stared at each other. And then, without warning, she smiled at me, reaching down and grabbing my handle. For a moment, I thought she was going to snap me in half.

?You?re soo cute~? she practically squeed, while hugging me tightly. My mind was in a mess. Did this girl have a mental defect? How could she have possibly found me cute? There was absolutely nothing that could be even related to the word ?cute? on me. Nonetheless, the girl simply picked me up, opened me and sheltered herself as she whimsically skipped down the muddy trail, humming to herself along the way. Before I could even *attempt* to protest, she suddenly closed me and held me in front of her, so that I was staring directly into her eyes. ?I?m going to take you back, and, and, I?ll show you to Papa and Mama!? she grinned. ?By the way, my name is Kogasa! What?s yours??

Thus began the next chapter of my life that very day.


To be continued (?)
I am a thinker. I cast light on various concepts. I can unveil the world's dark secrets if I so please. And yet, there is a single enigma that even I cannot clarify.  - Renko Usami

I am a dreamer. I wander through countless dreams. If I will, I can even walk the roads of the land of illusion. And yet, there is a single vision that even I cannot grasp. - Maribel Han

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2010, 03:22:41 PM »
Oho, now that's an interesting perspective. Nicely done~

Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2010, 11:16:24 PM »
Yeah, this is an interesting take on animism. And how tsukumogamis work, for that matter. Can't wait to see where this is going ...

HakureiSM

  • Reimu is all of it
  • I suddenly feel like I ate a crowbar.
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2010, 03:13:46 AM »
This is really cute.
[20:45:19] Ciryano: come and behold why they call it the Panzerfaust
[20:45:39] Hakurei Reimu: ... because it shoots once and then you throw it out?
                                                                                   .

Solais

  • Developer fairy
  • is working for a game developer now.
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2010, 11:27:15 AM »
This is a truly surprising work.

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2010, 09:37:28 PM »
Sakana pointed this out to me for when I got back. I will be looking out to see where this fic is going :3

Vicks

  • Hurr Durr
  • WRYYYY
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2010, 07:39:02 PM »
?Mama, I?m home!? announced Kogasa brightly as she opened the door. Immediately, a female, who I assumed to be her mother, rushed forward and scooped her up in her arms, hugging her tightly. ?Oh Kogasa,? muttered the woman silently, ?I was so worried about you! Don?t disappear like that again!? Kogasa seemed unfazed at that, as she casually stepped back and pouted. ?I?m already six mom, I can take care of myself! Besides, look what I found!? she announced, holding me out proudly, like how a kid would display a brand new toy to his friends. There was a visible look of disgust on her face, though she hid it pretty well, just sighing instead.

?Kogasa,? said her mother, ?Your father and I are willing to tell buy you any umbrella you like. You don?t have to go scrounging around for one.?

?But-but all the rest of them are soo boring,? sulked Kogasa, ?All the rest just simply have flowery patterns on them. Look at this one, it even has a tongue!? She then proceeded to thrust me towards her mother. Unfortunately, my oversized tongue, combined with the fact that it was soaked in the rain, landed on her face with a rather sad-sounding ?splat? sound. Kogasa gulped, and shuffled back slowly.

Instead of going into a rage, which was probably what I would have done if a giant, damp and red limb hit my face, she simply gave Kogasa a gentle smile. ?Alright Kogasa, you can keep it,? she said, ?Anything for my little girl.? Grinning, Kogasa put me on the floor, and gave her mother the biggest hug I had ever seen.

Thank you, whoever it is, I thought to myself, for letting Kogasa find me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


9 years had passed, and Kogasa had grown up to be a fine girl. Age had accentuated her features, but one thing stayed the same: Her promise to take care of me. Even at 16 years old, Kogasa would still come up to her room every night, and carefully dust me off, telling me all about her day, while I patiently sat there listening. Tonight though, would be special: Today was exactly my 100th birthday. As I waited quietly in her room, I wondered whether the legend of the tsukumogamis that Asahi told me was true. Would I really become an animate being, or more specifically, a youkai? How would my youkai form be? A human? A beast? Or maybe still an umbrella? Whatever the result though, I was grateful that I at least lived a good life. I glanced at the moon through the window. 10 minutes to midnight (After looking at the moon from my shelf for 9 years, I had learnt how to tell the time just by glancing at it).

Almost on cue, the door burst open, and there stood Kogasa. ?Kogasa!? I yelled within myself, ?About time! I have something I have to-?. Something wasn?t right. Normally, right on cue, she would have ran towards me, picking me up and asking how my day was (normally, it involved the gratuitous use of the word ?boring?). However, this time round, she simply stood there, unmoving. As the moonlight shone on her face, I practically screamed.

Blood was dripping down her face, all over her dress.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


?Kogasa!? I exclaimed as she limped towards me, ?Speak to me! What happened? Where are your parents?? Not saying a word, she simply grabbed me, falling to the floor as her legs gave way. Hugging me tightly with all her strength, she just gazed at me, smiling calmly. My mind was in a whirl. What had happened? Did someone attack her? Bandit attacks?

A loud roar behind us answered my question. As Kogasa rolled over, letting me see who the intruder was, my eyes (or eye, in this case) widened in panic. Right behind us, staring at us, was a genuine youkai. It had a vague humanoid build, though its face definitely was not humanoid. Its large, wide mouth bore fearsome fangs, and its eyes filled with bloodlust. If I had a mouth, I would have yelled, but Kogasa just lay there, smiling faintly as it bore down on her.

In a flash, right before my very eyes, the beast devoured her, sending blood streaking around the room. I felt sick to the very core, as I closed all my senses, not wanting to see the bloody scene. Somewhere in between my thoughts, there lay one question: Would I have become like this if I ever become a tsukumogami?

That night, I cried quietly, my entire world being taken away from me.

« Last Edit: June 13, 2010, 04:28:18 AM by Vicks »
I am a thinker. I cast light on various concepts. I can unveil the world's dark secrets if I so please. And yet, there is a single enigma that even I cannot clarify.  - Renko Usami

I am a dreamer. I wander through countless dreams. If I will, I can even walk the roads of the land of illusion. And yet, there is a single vision that even I cannot grasp. - Maribel Han

Vicks

  • Hurr Durr
  • WRYYYY
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2010, 04:31:08 AM »
Just a simple bump to notify people. Also, I think this is the worst chapter I have written in my life. =/
I am a thinker. I cast light on various concepts. I can unveil the world's dark secrets if I so please. And yet, there is a single enigma that even I cannot clarify.  - Renko Usami

I am a dreamer. I wander through countless dreams. If I will, I can even walk the roads of the land of illusion. And yet, there is a single vision that even I cannot grasp. - Maribel Han

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2010, 05:57:33 AM »
D:

Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2010, 09:14:03 PM »
Oh nooooo~
I need to know what happens next!!

MysTeariousYukari

  • Nomnomnom~
  • Hooray~
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2010, 11:50:55 PM »
Esifexs sig is a way to sum up what happened without mentioning anyone dying or being hurt, or in this case, "devoured." This is not a bad chapter, but i did not expect that.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2010, 05:09:22 AM »
My sig is a way to sum up any of the stories in the PSL without giving away major details.

Nobu

  • Serendipitous Youkai
  • *
  • i post while naked
    • My Tumblr
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #12 on: June 14, 2010, 02:57:23 PM »
Whoa. WHOA. 

I definitely need to stumble into PSL more often. This is great. Kogasa..  :ohdear:
Tumblr (sometimes NSFW) | PM for Facebook

Kasu

  • Small medium at large.
  • This soup has an explosive flavour!
Re: The Element of Suprise
« Reply #13 on: June 14, 2010, 10:06:12 PM »
Oh~ I think I know where your going with this.

Apparently, Thomas the Tank Engine isn't one to take crap from anyone.