Author Topic: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)  (Read 9229 times)

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AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« on: April 07, 2010, 03:45:24 AM »
Conceal The Conclusion of Sanae





Her hands trembled, ever so slightly as she pinched heavily onto the zit at her nose, and as it broke, the blood quickly dampened around her index and middle finger, and then it spread out into a red blotch as the blood is released from the pressure of the pinch.


"That was the 100th one today..." She sighed, it has been so damning. So painful...


Ever since she had this disease, with no name and yet to find a cure, she has been in pain. She wished it would go away, she wished the gods who have been with her for so long would take away the pain, and she could... do various other things, under the sun even.


Her disease is so rare she is the only one in the whole world of 6 billion in population to have it. It paralyzes her even, making her so weak as her body goes into overdrive to produce the contents of those zits. 'The Acne Disorder' they simply called it. A disease that makes her body divert all available nutrients to her skin, to produce zits, which damage the skin and takes about a day to mature. When it does mature, it becomes a horrible and disgusting and smelly bulge on the surface of her skin, demanding itself to be broken quickly as the itch quickly becomes so annoying that even sitting in her wheelchair is impossible.


She prayed to the gods to relieve her pain, for her friends to come...


If only... if only she was...


Ah, what the hell, it was all in her figment of her imagination. She was no shrine maiden, or wind priestess, not in some wonderful utopian land... and certainly, she wasn't half the girl she once was.


A single tear dropped to her lap, as her thoughts traveled to the old days.



====================================================




Her green hair was once a sign of rebellion, against those in school. Oh, was she popular, Sanae Moriya, hottest girl in town, sassy green haired Venus, an Aphrodite of bad behavior, chain smoker, early popper, teen dancing extraordinaire... Oh, she was the one they say lacked common-sense, but in her mind, it was they who are held back by so much common-sense.


It is only natural the guys wanted to be seen with her, the cool girl who always keep her low-slung V neck uniform with miniskirt, and refusing to wear the second inner white shirt to keep the V neck from exposing her modest parts. The girl had a reputation for sitting with her legs spread open and inviting, tantalizingly advertising her fresh silken skin over porcelain masterfully carved legs of smooth beauty, only modestly clasped in thigh socks that barely held anything back for any person eager to see.


She was wild, once she lit her cigarette in class, and kicked over the table so her legs could be easily rested on her makeshift legrest. The teacher protested, but instead, she pulled him over, and placed her hand neatly on his crotch, stifling his words and making him utter something totally wrong for a teacher to do. A yelp of pleasure as her silken hands traveled over the well-ironed pleated slacks, tracing a fine route of the cress and over the slight bump where the manhood is positioned.


When she was brought to the principal's office, it was her who slammed the door open, crying with fake tears and shrill voice, "He molested me... in class! He placed my right hand on his... his... thing...." Then a few sobs followed as her voice trailed off to a silent protest as she held close to the sides of the principal's finely pressed black suit, her tears dampening the side of his left shoulder as the sobs faded in. Inside, she was laughing, knowing full well by tomorrow this teacher, who is now flailing his hands in protest against the faked accusation by the green haired bad girl; will be branded by society as a disgusting pervert, and subsequently banned from his career, forced to do community service, maybe even arrested...


Oh, what fun~


And then, when she finally calmed down, she held onto the wrinkled trembling hands of the principal himself after he dismissed the teacher forcibly. The locking click of the door meant that now in the office, only the presence of Sanae is left with the principal. She looked with the tearful eyes full of faked emotions and a blush she could somehow ever so skillfully summon at will. Then, placing her forced hand to the back of the principal's right palm, she applied the palm to the left of her chest.


"Can you feel it... I am finally calmed down... thanks...so much... I... didn't know what to do..." She told the principal in a coy and seductive voice, ever so precocious from a 16 year old high schooler, her tone only on the cusp of maturity, yet held back by sweet childish prepubescent notes.


Lo, what man can deflect such charms?


"It is alright now, Sanae-chan, you can let go of my hand now..." He knew well what he was supposed to feel - her heartbeat, but instead, like all men given the opportunity, he couldn't stop himself from feeling the softly bulged chest of the 16 year old. So lovely was its shape, held back by a thin piece of cloth, and the fact that she wasn't wearing the white inner-piece made it all so arousing. He was old enough to be her grandfather, but yet... it was so right, for something so wrong that he felt.


Sanae knew, she had his heart, and mind. He was hers, her own high powered toy, designed to drive off undesirable obstructions.


Silently she laughed on the inside.



===============================================



School was over, the bells over the high tower placed above the school's assembly hall rang with resounding echoes. The distant sound floated past the quiet corridor leading all the way to the end where the rather large female lavatories are. The changing rooms next to it, the door tightly sealed with a wedge from the inside to prevent any potential disturbances.


There were 5 girls, each with a snarl on their faces, hampering whatever beauty they may have under the curled facial tension, and their target of 'affection' was at Sanae.


Sanae was beautiful, flowing green locks of colored hair, smooth porcelain skin, precocious, seductively dressed to engage the attention of the boys. How many of the girls had their boyfriends stolen from right under their noses?


Sanae has never bothered to be waited upon to be flirted, she flirts. That was the difference. There were no letters in shoeboxes, no lightly-scented notes inside her desk, no phone calls from secret admirers, no sweet poems written onto the chalkboard for her personal muse... it was all her doing.


She merely has to pass a boy by the hall, her scent would waft lightly over his nose, engaging his every nerve and attention as he turned to see. Her beauty notwithstanding, his eyes traveled to her lightly dressed boy of perfection; especially volatile to lust when in summer, with the soft fabric lightly hugging to her body as the sweat permeated it. One look was all it need, and that is why they call her the 'miracle worker', for the next moment, the young man would swoon for her head over heels, he would become her lapdog, drool for her every single attention. When she does give it, he would lap it up, every single drop of attention.


These were her achievements, and these are the things the girls who snarled at her now came for.


"You bitch."


"Whore!"


"Slut!"


"You have no right to steal my boyfriend like that!"


"He was with me, and then you came, what the fuck were you thinking?"


The five all shrieked like angry banshees at her, their voice as filled with hate as compared with the mythic lore itself.


Sanae has few words to say however, "You have only yourself to blame, for being cockblocks, for being pretentious... for being so frigid. What? didn't you know the boys only wanted to fuck you? Didn't you think they masturbate to you at night in their bedrooms?" She paused, and resumed, "You know, if you just accept them and do the right moves, you would have them feeding from your palms."


She said it with such righteousness, that no one in the room could somehow deny it, it was expected of Sanae Moriya, queen of bitches. Then , like a sudden angry mob, they lunged for her.


Sanae had no fear however, known only to few, she was a well trained martial art student, she attended Judo classes since young, and she graduated from black belt Karate recently, and frankly, that is where her well toned body comes from; which is something the rest of the girls here don't have.


With swift moves, she cancelled their movements, flipping them light rag dolls and sending them tumbling onto the changing room floors. Her moves traveled like lightning, and too fast for the eye to perceive by the layman, and with almost immediate efficiency, the mob was put down, groaning in pain and twisting to avoid pressure on their sore spots.


Sanae pulled one of the girl's hair up by the roots, and pulled her face close to hers so that her breath can spray onto her face, the perspiration on her face only marked her desperation more and more as the fear of staring at a female lion far more powerful than a common house cat came down to her reality. Tears flowed out from her blackened eye, earlier punched spot-on by Sanae with accurate force, and her swollen lip tried to utter a petrified 'sorry'.


"Oh no, I am sorry, Kururi of 5B, I am sorry for your loss here and your boyfriend, whom you so pathetically seduced one time successfully but lost your reins on his neck."  Sanae then planted her face downwards, and promptly got up.


Suddenly, as though fueled by a sudden violent intent, she placed her foot on the back of her head. Then, slowly she bended over, and re-tied her shoelace, leisurely so, so that the girl can feel her every dignity crushed below as her face kissed the cold floor tiles. Sanae enjoyed every moment of this, she smacked her lips even... knowing full well tomorrow these girls will not even come to school to be subjected to the shame of their swollen faces being seen.


Oh, the thrill of life.


So lovely.



=================================================


Part 1

Well, "Sanae is a good girl" aside, I really like Sanae, and despite her 'apparent bitchiness' in UFO, I really wanted to write this suddenly. This might be fueled from her UFO attitude where she says all Youkai must die.

"The weak shall perish" is her attitude, and I like bad girl Sanae.

enjoy, for this may make you rage.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2010, 03:51:17 AM by Alstroemeria-F »
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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2010, 04:24:05 PM »
[Part 2] continues


===============


Now in her wheelchair, she couldn't recall how the sunlight once was. She couldn't remember why the sun was even there to begin with, when all she had was a window with its smallish crack there, leaving warmth to come in on this humid day.


The humidity does wonders for her, reminding her that she could sweat, and that she isn't dead.


There was a time she hated sweat however, like back when she had PE class, and it was never fun.


For all her wild charms however, Sanae herself is a flower in disguise as something else more, malicious.


She was not an objective person, but she was a dreamer.


They say dreamers often are just that, dreaming all the time. Her dreams however, were more vivid. Since young and coming from a culture rich background, she has been one to dream.


Her family, the Moriya Shrine, which her father Samanosuke Kochiya was the head of the family shrine they have managed for hundreds of years; were listed among some of the oldest shrines in all of Japan. Combating urban sprawl, her city was expanding its grasp of development to those places where once stood paddy fields and crop gardens of individual families. As the older generation faded out, those like her, the Gen X'ers have to adapt to a living environment of comfort, accessibility, internet, and most of all, schooling pressure once unavailable to her.


Sanae hardly finished elementary school, but compared with her many peers she was smarter, as though blessed with both beauty and brains she picked up urban life easily. Before long, she learned to despise the burdensome old ways and certainly the customs that bide her body and mind to a duty that really, no one cared enough to uphold. She has no business running this shrine, the task should die with her father.


What's the use of maintaining a shrine that no one comes on New Years? There is not even so much as an ounce of faith for these so-called Gods, this Kanako Yasaka and Suwako Moriya. Their images were unseen, represented only by panels of age-old rotten wood, written in calligraphy ink, and arched so that the wall can be seen adorning them from the inside which stood firmly behind another piece of woodwork. The donation box in front, and on the table two different mirrors stood gathering dust over the years. Those were it, the so called Gods were mirrors, tied with holy rope blessed by priests of old times, and enshrined by white paper offerings that clung to the wall like laces.


When her father was still around, the shrine would have been polished daily to its fulsome cleanliness. There would first be a water ceremony in the morning, for his body to be washed before the first hints of the morning sun can hit his impure skin; and then he would pray on the ground before the shrine, soiling his white robe once more to be changed later.


Then, an offering of fruits, flowers and incense, customary to his duty and then he shall have his own breakfast in the annex building where the living quarters and a semi-modern standard home kitchen stood within. Eggs and toast, simple and modest, eagerly Western, and well, enjoyable for Sanae then because it is so rare to have a Western breakfast. As time moved on however, the disdain of having to wake up early to prepare an authentic Japanese breakfast became so troublesome for her father's old bones to handle that he simply stopped, because the toaster is much more convenient.


Then time moved on even further, at some point, the availability of fresh materials can only be obtained the night before in the supermarket, and it was so much hassle for the old man to walk in an air-conditioned, crowded, brightly lit and terribly uncomfortably noisy place filled with urban peoples that the old man simply refused to go. However, that also means no more fresh vegetables and such, for good Sanae really has became addicted to the foods that everyone else had - Parfait, sweet and lovely; Sandwiches, easy and tasty; Bento boxes, readily prepared and heated; microwave friendly foods that are all too convenient to just grab and go for a high school girl who has nothing else to be busy about; save for the endless text messages she could send for no particular reason. It was her duty, at least, to be a high school student, and her father never objected to those 'duties' because he himself understands the part and parcel of being a common girl.


Then one day, her coming back with a surprise utterly changed the opinion overnight for her dear father. The same father who thought about providing her exactly what she wanted and what she needed all the time. Where her lush once black streaming hair was, is now one of bright apple green, sparkling under the pale sun above as her father struggled to gather his eyes around the absurd change that was made.


"Sanae, what have you done with yourself?" He asked.


"Just trying to stand out, don't be so surprised." Sanae replied as-a-matter-of-factly.


Her father knew then, he has been too kind on her. However, he also realized that he cannot stop. He was a remnant forgotten by progress, by time. There is no place for him in this world of changing pace. He was losing his grip, on old customs which no one cared, and of old values that no one holds onto. For whatever he was providing, his daughter has, and for that, Sanae's change was and should be expected.


So he pondered on it himself, and took it as a sign that it was all as natural as breathing. Girls will be girls, they must do what they must, looking beautiful is at least, as ancient as the days when women first wore fancy kimono for the celebrations.


At least, even if it was green hair, the applied theory is that this may well be today's fashion, today's value of beauty surely no longer stays with dusty old kimono and silken weave of fabric his mother once shown him. Whatever beauty statements his daughter makes, so be the timely adaptation to a future he has no stake in, and can only fade as age takes him over slowly. He should be happy, should he not? Even if he does misses Sanae in her young and innocent days, the fact is, children will grow and one day leave the nest to fly away, and seek out new horizons. Even he knows that day must be coming if the hair was any indication.


So that night he prayed before Kanako and Suwako, the shrine's enshrined Gods, and asked for advice. They of course only reply to him in kind, if only he was the only pair of ears to hear these divine, otherwise unheard of words and sentences from moldy, dusty mirrors in a wooden building of hundreds years old. Whatever he heard, it must have been favorable, for morning comes, and he was at his usual pace of cleaning, preparing food, and sweeping the shrine's surroundings to meet the sun rise.


Sanae was off to school, and he prayed that she would have a happy day.


That day, was the day she took off the inner white shirt, and cast upon she did into her bag, forgotten just like her useless books. She sashayed into the classroom, revealing the lovely shine of her new green hair. The class was shocked, as was the teacher. They chided and they asked questions, why why why why why?


Why so mundane? Can't I have a little color in my life?


She wanted to ask.


If anything however, no one ever listens anyway. Not that she cared though, she can't un-dye it, and if anyone were to suggest otherwise back to her natural color, she will just say 'mind your own business'. What can the student council do? Other than whine behind their thick rimmed glasses and self imposed discipline.


What's done is done, and she won't go back on her ways.



============================


Yet another day passed, the sun outside was streaming, the weather as hot and as humid as summer could bring.


Right now, not too far away was a park, where children played during afternoons under the watchful eyes of gossiping mothers and aunties and guardians; is a wondrous playground for everyone around town: the Matsuri.


Matsuri in the town of Suwa brings about happy beginnings for the year, a year when they would oblidgingly hold a large ceremony of flower viewing, drinking and most of all pray half-heartedly at a local but certainly more popular shrine nearby. It was a red one instead of green, unlike Sanae's house shrine. They say red is an auspicious color, and it certainly did draw much more attention.


Compared with the derelict state the shrine is now, and the annex building cleanly separated into a hidden room so that she could rest in the day and go out by night to maintain the shrine, for whatever its worth; the rival shrine in red certainly boasts a much cleaner, much pristine state than this one. Sanae reckons the shrine master doesn't even know what God he worshiped or that if it had a name. 'Suwa Shrine' hardly remarks anything of value, it can worship anything from Suwa region, even lame excuses of fabled legends that are hardly worthy of faith.


The church not too far away also boasts some Christian communities, and those are at a global level, a more accessible religion is always more welcome, she guesses.


Sanae was in no hurry to rush out into the sun though, she couldn't.


Not with the acne scars that damaged her once beautiful face, where the surface of the moon can now be compared to her face, and her arms, where visible under the thick woven long sleeved gray sweater she wore. It was even harder to imagine the unseen places of her body.


Each day she wakes up and strips, carefully so that she can remove any trace of exploded acne over the night when she may have had some sleep from general tiredness after tossing and turning and not being able to find a comfortable position. When her body is revealed in front of the mirror in her darkened room of thick curtaining, she always winches at the sight her body as become. The lack of exercise ensured her once beautiful body is now layered with small mounds of fat at the sides, but if she squeezed the air out of her lungs and sucked in her stomach, she could still remotely feel good about herself from the slight bulge.


Acne scars riddled her body like craters on the moon as she always compared, and where huge black spots of sores are, which are scars of acne that blown during the night when she slept and pressed against the bed; are the most ugly. The black sore spots look like as though someone has given a heavy punch to cause a bruise, but it was not so much as a bruise but in-seeping blood and pus from the pressure of her body's weight laying on it. Her skin is mostly quite numb, ensuring that she will never reach in time to prevent her body from lying over the punctured ones. She hates that more than anything else.


The dye on her hair, once lush and beautiful is now a thickly woven mop of frizzled hair. She no longer had the lush green that once was there. If only... if only it would all come back, each time she wished; but it won't come back. She is cursed, she swore it was one of the girls, or maybe all the girls that she has shoved her foot into their affairs, taken from under their noses their boyfriends, and such things she committed because she was too beautiful, too perfect to be fearful of them.


How else can one explain the sudden ugly disease descending on her? A disease of which the whole world could share at least one other human being to have, but not so? A disease which only she has? What else could be explained than a fearsome and hated curse of revenge?


After checking out whatever sores she had and cleaned herself by lightly dabbing a piece of cotton cloth sanitized by antiseptic and water, she slowly puts on her new sweater. The old one by now stank of rotten pus, and blood. It needs some special washing, and that she did as she threw it into the washing machine and switched it to 'heavy'. She had only few pieces of clothing inside though, but she pressed the maximum amount of water to be used, and poured an equal necessary amount of detergent enough to wash entire bedsheets into the machine before slamming it shut. The smell has to go, and no other way to do it than wash it with deliberate detergent and heavy tumbling in hot water.


She grimaced as she sat back into her wheelchair, which minimized movement and hence friction to her thighs when she walks. The terrible friction often causes irritation between her once long luscious thighs, which were almost always deliberately shown in classrooms once a time ago when she seduced even the most serious of boys in class; they can never turn their attention back to the black board, not when she lifts the skirt a little higher, bit by slow bit.


It wasn't even her wheelchair, it was her grandfathers. Her father had also once used it. Since he passed away last year, it has been a terrible affair to pull it out of storage and place it in her room. It was around 4 months after he passed away, just when she has finally adapted to living alone, and receiving all the affections of the boys who would help her at moment's notice to buy anything living and household items she could demand for; it happened - the disease came out of nowhere.


At first she thought she may have touched something poisonous, even allergy. The trip to the doctor did not better than to explain it with antibiotics. Antibiotics don't work, and by the time she made a hospital trip, the results were as devastating... for she had to hide her face from public by then.


She wore a face mask, and covered herself with a hooded jacket. Her legs were covered in long johns, making sure that no one could so much as recognize her.


It wasn't as she wanted though, one of the doctors' sons is actually there, seeing his father at work. The boy was one of Sanae's many boy toys whom haven't received any attention for weeks by now, because Sanae didn't show up for school. Quickly he could recognize the familiar slight of green hair peeping from under the hoodie.


A flash of unintended force, and her face, blistered by acne and some even popping in real time, the stink from her unwashed body because of irritation drove the boy to deny this girl whom once dominated his every passion. The girl whom he had so much passion for... the one whom he makes up wet dreams from... now a haggard horrible diseased green haired witch...


The horrible reality drove Sanae to shout out to him:


"Please, Shoku... it is me, don't be afraid... I am just..." She doesn't know how to explain, so her words trailed off. Shoku the boy toy however, only returned a pitiful stare, before approaching his father, and leaving some words, he stormed off out of the hospital. Sanae had a good idea he will be spreading this to the 'Sanae fan club' and it would dissolve immediately, when they found out about her 'new look'. Such was also the clear and cruel reality she once advertised boldly when she said the boys only want the pretty faces they can fuck.


Now no one would touch her. The doctor has only this to say, "We don't know what this is... but... we will try our best to work it out."


To begin with subsiding the pain, Sanae was first given painkillers. Its side-effects was intense itching instead, and so she quit using them almost the next day. They gave her acne cream, it was irritating and only did so much as covering her entire body in it, and every other 3 days a nurse would drop off an entire bucket of it for her. She just kept using them but the acne kept coming back. She couldn't so much as take in any sun or the effect would double.


This was her curse... to ban her from ever going outside...


To bad her from ever seducing another boy to do her bidding... to ban her from being wild...


Oh, such pain...


Outside, the Matsuri was processing at full flair, the noise from the hundreds of gathering peoples chanted, and some sang, while others joined the procession and marched to the shrine for blessings. They just ignored this shrine that stood on the small mound just across the street which they walked on, no one ever comes here anyway...


No one would do so now, even if she wished for it...



=============================



The dreams began peacefully enough, drawing her attention more and more as she woke up remembering the pristine details.


She wanted always to go back to sleep, but the wracking pain of her acne ridden body and smell of horrible pus always pulls her awake, forcing her to take a washing of her antiseptic, apply analgesic cream and change into something else more suitable in her moldy cabinet which she saw to it personally gathering dust over the year that passed in this poorly lit room. She has hardly ever ventured out there, and her food source is delivered to this annex by specific instructions every week. her father's savings ensured she gets medicinal help and food for a good long time to come, this much she is thankful.


When she does get her mind around it, she would pull out a journal. Bound by leather and with clear lined pages. She held with her acne ridden and trembling hand a pencil to write down the details of her dreams. The Dream Journal she calls it, 'The Concealed Conclusion'.


In her dreams, she dreamed of a colorful Utopian land called 'Gensokyo' where money doesn't rule over everything. She was beautiful again, with her beautiful porcelain skin and green hair. She had a strangely comic look to her in these dreams, where she wears a smallish frog ornament on her hair, and a braid which is a snake coiling up one side of her thick locks. She wore a white shrine maiden's outfit which had detached sleeves and a V neck cut, the way she liked it.


She would wear a Sarashi sometimes, a band of white cloth to conceal a woman's modesty when wearing more traditional outfits, like a kimono. The girls today prefer bras however for support offered to their cup sizes. Sometimes however, she would not wear them, and expose lusciously her sides to eager eyes. She wore normally  a blue long skirt, which covered her legs nicely, and had lovely patterns of paddy and other etchings on it.


In these dreams, she was living with two Goddesses, whom by no surprise are the ones her shrine worships. She knows them as Kanako Yasaka and Suwako Moriya. One tall and the other one a childish but yet surprisingly the older of the two Goddesses.


Kanako had a large tall frame, almost 6 foot and possibly is. She wears a flamboyant crimson red dress with puffed shoulders tied with holy rope from the waist to her back. Her deep sea blue pleated skirt gave her form an authority of strictness, while her back always floated an arms-thick rope ring , along with long wooden pillars which old shrines still have called the Onbashira pillars. She was a towering figure of sternness, yet had the charms of a woman who stood out like no other in this Utopian land. Sanae reasoned she was probably Sanae's self projection of her once strong self, the confidence she had lost when she was riddled by this horrible curse.


The Suwako Goddess, is another league. Childish in form, like that of a 10 year old adolescent, she wore a hat with eyes at the sides and seemed too large over her blond head. Her body was that of a simple blue blouse with frog patterns over a white inner long sleeved shirt, and the blouse covers only to her knees. Her long knee socks protected her modesty more, and she always wore a ready and almost motherly kind smile when Sanae greeted her in the dreams.


She dreamed it was a beautiful life, and she reckons if anything... these Goddesses were substitutes of her subconscious mind to replace the role of her once caring father, whom she had taken for granted. She had so much time with her now that she is painfully strip away of her life by this disease that of course, she would have the time to ponder through all the things she has done. The image of her father's dying wish however, was the image that burned the deepest.


"Live honestly, Sanae... I will miss you..."


To this, at the time, she could only return a wry smile as her mind traveled elsewhere to the later karaoke session she was gonna have with a few of her boy toys.


Now that she recalled that part, she cried a bit, realizing the wrong she had done to someone so close... so... dear to her.


Such was the cruelty of realization.


Was it Karma she wondered?



================================================

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[ Find my cosplay photos here. ] OMG I HAVE TUMBLR FOLLOW PLZX Will You Remember Me... ?

Esifex

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2010, 12:43:31 PM »
Oh! My heartstrings! ;~;

♛ Apher-Forte

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2010, 02:19:43 PM »

Part 3 Continues

===============


"Suwako-sama, Kanako-sama, time to have dinner..." Sanae shouted over the corridor. On both sides were paper panels, which led to individually the lounge, and the other to the shower room. A resounding yes came from the lounge room, and soon enough the paper door slid open and revealed was a small figure of a girl no taller than the average 10 year old.


The 10 year old lookalike had a tall hat, rice brown in color, with two eyes that looked at where she is heading, in this case to the dinner table in the other room where the kitchen is connected to. Then following behind is the tall woman, the one with deep sea blue hair that matched her pleated skirt below that covers up to her ankles in length. Her red crimson dress stood out however, along with her missing ring rope which Sanae always recalls in the dreams that she has them on.


"Kanako-sama, where is your onbashira?"


Kanako turned around, and faced Sanae, her face clear indications of semi-drunkenness. A drunken goddess... how unsightly, Sanae thought to herself. "Oh, ermmmm... I think I left it in my room, I will go pick it up later, it is okay."


The smaller one gave a disappointed nod at the larger of the goddesses, and turned too to Sanae, "What's for dinner?" She asked, her voice as sweet and innocent as her appearance. In truth however, she is the eldest of the family, Sanae recalled her history being around 1500 years old.


"I made us casserole, and we have fresh rice~" Sanae chirped happily.


It is strange how she is eating with goddesses so carefreely, she recalls in the real world Gods are almost always made for worship, admiration. Yet, here it is, her own goddesses are such carefree personalities, without so much as arrogance of strange sense of authority stranglehold. She was at home, with people she loved, and were loved by these same people. This was family, family which she neglected in real life.


She understood it all to be dreams, yet, in these dreams, they are so real everything felt so... progressive.


She could smell the casserole being cooked, she could smell the wood of the walls and certainly the sounds she is hearing as she stroked the ladle against the cooking pot made of stone. Yes, she had to manually start the fire with wood in the stove, which increased the temperature of the room all this time, and it had to be manually put out later by sealing away the air. This was her life here, in this near medieval style living quarters with two goddesses. Yet, somehow, it doesn't feel out of place, it feels warm.


Outside the night has set, and she is witnessing it as the cool night breeze wafted into the dining room from the opened window. She enjoyed it while the light of the candle and the moon gently lifted the room into a lovely setting of dinner almost under the starry skies. There were other sources of light too, namely spirits that illuminated the surroundings with their luminescent bodies.


In this world she dreams of, she is a Shrine Maiden, a female maiden of the shrine like in real life which she takes care of. Her role however extends far beyond the roles of sweeping up, and maintaining an age old derelict shrine.


Her world was rich with tasks, tasks that were given to her by her goddesses, tasks which she undertakes to solve 'incidents' in this peaceful land.


Not too long ago her goddesses implored her to defend a mountain, called the youkai mountain when they 'invaded' this realm of space. This was when she first had the dreams months ago, and they continued in progressive fashion since then, day by day, month by month, sometimes skipping a few weeks in between when nothing special happened.


There, she worked with the Tengu, a race of imagined beings by her based on the legends of long-nosed, snarling faced, mountain phantasms which live in the wilds of Japan. The Tengu here in her dreams however, were unlike the legends she read about it in the real world, where she is mostly bedridden, or at least wheelchair bound; they were beautiful girls with animal features.


There was Aya Shameimaru, a lovely long-legged girl Tengu who had jet black hair that matched her tiny wings attached to her back. She wears a white short sleeved shirt with beautiful patterns imprinted on her left side in a single vertical strip with flowers and leaves of autumn. She wore a normally black miniskirt that showed her ample charms, and tied it with a string of red rope which serves as her belt. She also wore a tokin hat, red in color and somehow magically stays on her short black hair no matter how fast she flies. Her shoes however were the most outstanding in detail, aside from her rather robust chest that is. They were clogs, or sandals with a single panel of wood in the dead center of the sole which stuck out from under in a semi-curved flat sides, and bold slightly below at the base to form a bigger standing area. Normal people would not be able to stand on these without a great sense of balance, but she could do so quite well.


She runs a newspaper publishing office, which she prints out 'Bunbunmaru News' for the public here at Gensokyo, the Utopian land of her dreams. Most of the details in the news however are tabloids, gossips gathered here and there and such. On quite some occasions however, news would cover of the incidents that happened in this land.


Quite recently she had to assist a certain plan her goddess, namely Kanako to do something big to bring energy to the local township. With the assistance of the technology that is somehow made available to her, she was given the task to repel all the people who dared to come forth and disrupt the plan.


In the process, she has met up with underground dwellers, also in the form of beautiful girls that share her enthusiasm in the mission to bring power freely available to the town. There was Satori Komeiji, whom had a sister who was hardly ever seen hanging around in the underground palace called Chireiden. Satori Komeiji is the master of Chireiden and the owner of several hundred pets, consisting from birds to dogs to cats and even insects. She was fond of them, but the most significant ones are her cat, Orin, and her pet bird, called Okuu.


Satori is a 'Satori' a species of phantasm capable of reading hearts and minds. Sanae deeply believed her to be the character of those entire opposites of the world around her real life self. Satori to her was the embodiment of long-sought identity and understanding, a person who can see past the walls Sanae built around her when she gotten the accursed disease. Satori was the figure who could read out her remorse like a book written in fine ink, she was the one figure who could see into her mind the regrets she carried when she wanted to apologize for all the wrong she has done. That has always left a bitter taste in her mouth, and even in these dreams, Sanae never failed to recall the real life that has plagued her ever so terribly.


Of the pets however, Okuu had this large set of black wings that dwarf that of Aya's, and had long unkempt black hair that is almost always frizzled. She is a Yatagarasu, a Sun Crow. A species of phantasm which had the ability to manipulate quantum levels of heat and radiation. In a string of events she was given the power to control the radiation more accurately and had since been able to cause large explosions and huge red balls of massive radioactive energy to attack at others. Her nature was awakened to that of a serious power hungry person when she sought to somehow make all the other residents in Gensokyo bow to her new-found power.


While on her side as they need her strength to complete the mission, Sanae found herself conflicted by her attitude. It was the assurance of her friend, the pet cat called Orin however, that changed this for Sanae. Orin is a Nekomata, a seasoned old cat that absorbed the essence of magic and turned into a two-tailed cat phantasm. She was employed to work to fuel the fires of Chireiden underground for both warmth and power by collecting corpses to be burnt. According to her, corpses store so much energy per body that a single body can burn enough heat to fuel six homes for nearly 2 days. Her attachment to her job meant also that she is on the hardworking side. In the events that followed, Sanae had many chances to talk to her over everything from the continuous dreams, Sanae was able to determine her personality was that of a big sister to everyone, as the big caretaker and Sanae trusted her judgment.


Together they set a string of incidents that led to her being defeated in the end the plan thwarted to bring what could well be energy at a more convenient access to others. Though she was left bitter, she understood that in order for this plan to work, it required too much sacrifice. She learned in this bit at least, that sometimes having to be defeated is a part and parcel of life. To this, Sanae projected herself as not the aggressor, but the student and victim of a life lesson, one she failed to learn when she had the chance in real life.


Then, even more recently there was her being involved in a separate incident to stop a flying ark in the sky. The Soaring Vault, it was called, and it was commanded by a woman called Byakuren Hijiri. Of all her features, it was beauty that was most stunning. She had gradient hair, purple at the top that blended perfectly to a brownish blond at the bottom. The long locks she had was complemented by her unblemished face, and soft pout lips that remarked the cusp of perfect femininity. She had the commanding presence of a teacher, a spiritual sort, and yet harbor some kind of malicious intent deep within those solemn eyes that transpire a tragic tale hidden behind her past. Sanae has no doubt in subsequent dreams in the future, she will see so many more sides to this lovely woman with gradient hair.


Along the way, she met many accomplices of Byakuren. From a mouse servant called Nazrin, a Karakasa umbrella phantasm called Kogasa Tatara, a cloud that talks and associated with a girl called Unzan and Ichirin respectively, to that of the others like Murasa, a ghost ship captain and Shou, a tigress phantasm and a Chimera called Nue.


The colors of these characters are so wonderful. They seemed to her represent every aspect from every single corner of her own world, filled with so many challenges, personalities, characters that something which she never bothered to explore before.


And then...


She wakes up.



==========================


Morning came, it was 11am, and the sun's rays was especially invasive today through the thick black curtain. Its rays almost managed to come to the edge of her bed, where her feet lay exposed. Quickly, she pulled them back and pulled the covers along to cover them as she slips off the bed.


The dream was still fresh, she had recently defeated the one called Byakuren in her strangely non-malicious intent to gather donations and workers for the building of a shrine which she names it after her brother Myouren. She expected by tonight however, she will have another dream that continues from there.


The wracking pain however ensured she couldn't bear sitting down any longer and needed a wash quite badly. So off she went for the shower room and switched on the instant heater, and waited for warm water to fill up a wash basin for her to use.


Well... her day will begin now, to wait it out... so that evening will come and she can drift back to sleep again.


Somehow, she felt she can put off the duty of sweeping the shrine today... she felt strangely tired as she washed up, as though she hasn't at all slept.


Not that anyone would come.


She smiled to the mirror, at the face that was no longer how she remembered it.


How strange... was she always this haggard?




============================
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communist unity (comm-unity)

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2010, 03:45:39 PM »
Well that was depressing. Nice work so far. :toot:

Wylfred

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2010, 09:07:05 PM »
Sorry for the late review but here it is.

Fluency: 5/5
Context: 5/5
Grammar: 4/5

Some things that I thought was good:

Your story is thick with description and I find that very nice in a story. Some might complain of too much description but the context of the story easily made up for that.  :D

Some things to improve on:

I find that lack of indents in paragraphs are a little irritating. This isn't really something to improve upon as it is a personal gripe of mine.

Overall Thoughts:

You did a very good job conveying this idea of yours to the readers and I hope to see more literary works of yours in the future. You are by far a better writer then me AF. All my ideas are usually stupid but I try to convey them anyways.

Esifex

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2010, 12:09:28 AM »
I find that lack of indents in paragraphs are a little irritating. This isn't really something to improve upon as it is a personal gripe of mine.
Actually, it's nigh impossible to properly indent paragraphs in the forums. The tab key - which is normally used for indents - doesn't put in indentions, it skips to the next section of the webpage.
A lot of the writers here post the updates to their stories by directly posting it into the thread, rather than draft it up in a wordprocessor and copy-pasting it over.

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2010, 04:03:10 AM »
Thank you for the detailed critique. I admit I am not the best with words and punctuation and all that because I am not a native speaker. I learned English only in high-school and well, I love to write.

I tend to over describe things though, but most of all I enjoy writing a good tale to share.

Sorry for putting in so much depressive mood, this is a sad story meant to convey what could well be OUR dilemma. Everyone wants to be in Gensokyo, you know... and well, from Sanae's point of view, Gensokyo is a mere imagined land, in her mind, and never will be true. Like us, who can only imagine soaring in the sky, free as birds instead of being bound to the hardship of life and its many cruelties.

(another chapter by later today, cause i wanted to finish this up quickly before I forget about it again...)
« Last Edit: April 09, 2010, 04:05:54 AM by Alstroemeria-F »
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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2010, 12:49:48 PM »
Epilogue of The Dream


===============


[Final Part]


Kururi Sasugawa of 5B looked out the window of her empty classroom.


It has been a year since that horrible incident, and still today she would place her hand ever so occasionally onto the back of her head and felt the area around it. Still, she would look sometimes at the tiles of her own bathroom and the horrid taste of piss and tears would fill her nostrils with horrible panic, paranoia and most of all disgust. This was all the work of that Sanae Kochiya, the beautiful girl no one dared to challenge and certainly if they did, nobody would have won.


There were news spread over her disappearance, how she suddenly quit school because of health.


There were rumors too; some said she was raped, and was impregnated by one of the boys, in her flurry of panic she quit school to avoid the shame of bearing a child or abortion of the child, nothing came out of that rumor however at the end. There was another one where she was said to have faked it so that she could get married to some rich businessman from who-knows-where investing in Japan, it was linked to how she sold her body to the masses outside of school; outside of the small pockets of Japanese schoolboys, and onto larger fishes in the sea. That one sounded plausible, but nothing came out of it too.


Then , when she herself finally got the chance to visit that small shrine, where rumors had it that she was there all this time; she saw it. There was a dried if not haggard old lady, under the guise of the dark, taking a shower in the darkened compound behind the shaded annex. It would have seemed utterly horrifying, ghostly even - that one should take such extreme measures to conceal themselves from even the moonlit night and shadowed compounds of no human presence.


She had waited that day, since evening, behind the bushes and ate her soft buns for dinner. She told her family she was at her friends, truth to be said she was going to go there later. However, after she saw that scene of Sanae, ghostly with her face and hair nearly covered by a grey blue shawl and bathed through it, she knew something has changed.


All of a sudden, the hate from that one year for her humiliation drained out from her heart like a plug being pulled up from a bathtub. She was no longer angry, not for the things she done, or for the things she had said. She was saddened, she felt immense pity - the sort of pity that one feels for a crippled man, chained forever to a bed, whose only destiny is to live and die slowly day by day until God claims him.


Her sight was pitiful. Long before she had black hair, when she sought to stand out, the apple green came along and her perception was changed almost overnight. Where her once natural born gold pupils are now only husks of bronze, deepened to such levels the shadows around her seemed to consume her lids to a scary layered socket of a skull. Her cheeks, once full, had nothing left by skin that which hung over her like a 70 year old woman. Her hair has also fallen out a lot, and her nose was a ridge and nothing more for the flesh is consumed by holes of all shapes and sizes. Her jaw is as gaunt as that of a skeletal frame she was embodying.


Then slowly, she saw the skeletal frame rose. Rickety movements mimicked that of the skeletal figure she represented, and into the annex building with thick wooden doors she went. A resounding 'click' confirmed that the door was closed, and silenced. There was only the flicker of candle light visible from inside the room, as the windows were slid to a close held shut further by panels of wood hammered into the sides of the frames. There was a thick curtain beyond it inside to further the covering of darkness.


Had this been how she lived? Was the rumor of her being cursed true? The ones the other girls so filled with hate... that they... come to that other red colored shrine and offered to their blood to the gods that resided in there for their revenge? They did say the other shrine was a famous ground for when the old days of lore, formed the stories of old women whom are also Omyouji Priestesses who practiced the dark arts.


It seemed hard to believe at first with now the standing shrine, bright red and clear as day with white and red uniformed shrine maidens greeting the people and children with million-dollar-smiles. The shrine has become a part of the town's activities, but when one dwell deeper into the history through the books in the library that recorded the town's history, one is enlightened by the shadowy tasks they once took...


The book that Kururi especially recalled was the one written by a certain Kamishirasawa, a PhD Doctor in History who specializes in ancient texts. It was said she was once a professor in this small town when it boomed to what it is today. She was very immersed with her works, and written many books of the history and lore of this town, right from the earliest settlers of near 600 years ago till only recently as 20 years ago before she moved on to greater things.


The shrine painted in red, decorated with the honors of the townsmen and leaders was once a sacrificing place for the old days of war. When the shoguns were captured, and the samurais bested, captured... they were usually offered for sacrifice to a fearsome god enshrined within. There were well recorded word of mouth history lessons in the book on account of how they poured blood into bowls and allow them to be sat overnight in the offertory boxes which resembled cages for wild animals; and that how the blood would be drained and the animal which was together inside it will be torn limb from limb in the morning without so much a hint of noise through the night. There were also various accounts of how whom and whom were seeking power, and got it through the blessing of the priestess whom took their body and deflowered it there in the face of the horrible god that lived within the shrine's inner sanctum. There were also accounts of how men were turned into overnight millionaires, and of women becoming the mistress of many younger men through the charms of this nightmarish being honored within.


Was it true? At first, she asked questions, but it was not too long ago she knows Kyouko, Satsumi, and those girls who once had their boyfriends stolen, beaten, humiliated further by having their pictures taken and posted on the internet for all to see... were considering the option. Yes, she knew it was trouble brewing, but she being the one with the mildest nature, dared not consider the occult. She knows it is not the thing if it works or not, but rather that the horrible price one tends to pay in turn for the services rendered. She was a virgin, so she would not sacrifice her body for the horrible curse. She didn't want to offer her blood to some pagan lore, when she was a converted Christian. She certainly would not want her parents to find her on the sacred ground of some ancient ritual if it were revealed. She was weak, as they would say.


So they went their separate ways, the ones whom she called friends were hellbent on revenge. It was revenge that drove them together, and it was the same that drove them apart. Slowly however, she found forgiveness in the face of her Lord, her Lord was Jesus Christ and he is a kind one. She knew her hate found nowhere to be released, and she really needed was the kindness of her Lord to take it all away, pain and suffering, hate and rendering alike.


How she would want to go to her now, and perhaps say a word or two of comfort. But she knows, Sanae is a creature of pride, as much as she was once, and even still... she would never let her see the being she has become.


So that night, she walked to her friend's house, mind half afloat. She thought about all the things in her head. From the day when her dear boyfriend from the same class began to give these lusty stares at her, down that streamlined cress of her V neck sweater meant for the outside of the school uniform... to her legs, always so precariously crossed to show enough but not quite to hungry eyes.


Oh, she could do the same, but the impact just won't be the same. Sanae is truly beautiful then, she had such the body that no other high school girl around her has. She was a totally different level, super-modeling would not have been a dream.


Slowly now, she came to the front of her friend's house. This was her one true friend, and she has been friends with Rin Satsuki since young. Today, she is cooking dinner for two, and already it is late into 9pm by now, frankly, she was famished.


All her thoughts still lingered there in the shrine though, the image of Sanae's broken state still so freshly imprinted in her head it makes her skin crawl.
 

She doesn't usually believe that anyone deserved something for something they done to others, and yet, she cannot pull herself away from the strange thought. She has pity, but the pity is too shallow now as she realized how far she has ventured away from the shrine. She felt shallow as that pity, realizing that no matter what she tried, the thought lingered. She prayed, as she entered the door, dressing up a smile as best as she can, for Rin Satsuki. Rin would not want to see her this way, with that confused look and remorseful set of eyes that betray her every thought.



===================================



[A few weeks later]


The news came as a shock to everyone.


The class was agape, aghast, mouths hang open when the news reached them, announced by the homeroom teacher as she carried the picture of her student in a blackened frame.


The frame was wooden, painted black, usually used for funerals. Kururi Sasugawa looked at the frame, eyes beginning to tear up as the her fists gripped into her hands, and trembled fiercely.


Some of the girls only returned a strange stare, as though they were aware of her situation before it was even announced.


In that frame, Sanae Kochiya had the brightest smiles, but all color was removed so her hair looked as grey as the background she was placed on. Those eyes, hollow, and yet full of life once was available to her plentily stared back into Kururi's soul. It was soul-crushingly painful, so much so... it tore her apart.


Was it all because of those few bits of humiliation?


Was it all worth it?


Why did such a girl have to die...?


"Police have acted out on a report when for three days the house delivery person did not managed to get in contact with Kochiya-san in her residence. The suspicion of rotten smells became overwhelming on the third day when the delivery person came to try and deliver the goods she normally ordered from home. It was found that she had died in her bed. It seems, at least Kochiya-san left in peace, they say they found her smiling in her sleep." The teacher, holding back some tears now in her eyes, said so, her voice a mere crackle and chokes that can be heard faintly.


Still, more classmates who were aware of how she was lay agape. The boys furiously discussed among themselves, they were the least aware to know where she lived, and also because she never told them.
For them, the memories of the sexy, beautiful, princess Sanae Kochiya of their dreams still lived in that perfect state. For Kururi however, she knew better.


Wiping her eyes the tears with her trembling hands, she walked out to get a breathe of fresh air as the class took a break to recover from the shock.


The girls she knew now, in those other classes must be laughing silently to themselves. God can only forgive them for what they done to Sanae through the means of the occult.


She prayed.



===================================


[Today]


Kururi Sasugawa looked at the coffin being lowered. She was given a standard burial at her house shrine, where behind was a patch of ground reserved for members of the household that kept the shrine in order. They say from another branch of another differently named shrine will now proceed to claim this land as another shrine for themselves, and that they will honor the old gods enshrined here as well as the new one they shall bring from across the land.


Already the new maiden was chanting, in slow and controlled fashion she read from the scriptures the mantra to help the dead pass on. To a Christian like Kururi, the memories of her grandmother's funeral popped up, she knew at least it was good that some remembered the old ways of life and faith and passed on to the young. This young girl, this maiden's name is Reimu Hakurei, a resident from a faraway town who is ordered to come here to perform the duty as a priest for Sanae Kochiya.


She looked young, and quite beautiful as well, with an old-worldly charm few still have today. No make-up, porcelain skin smooth as butter, and eyes full of spirit for her duty. They say she came from all the way in the northernmost regions of Japan, where tradition is still strife as old ways are still practiced in homes and shrines.


In her hands, Kururi held a piece of paper, crumpled now and useless, save for her memories.


Earlier, she has given a speech on behalf of the class, no one else would do it for Sanae anyway. Nobody knew her well enough than the hot girl in high school.


Kururi volunteered.


As a classmate, and as an once ago enemy, rival, and strangely now... a person of pity for her death, her suffering before she died...


Her tears are dry now, but the feeling is still there.


Kururi could only reason that her tears were long empty, for crying too much. She always had a soft heart... it was probably how she opened her eyes to God she supposes.


From what she knew...


Sanae carried with her, a stick with a paper tied to the tip like a spatula, with a holy string of paper that resemble the traditional shrinemaiden's ceremonial staff tied to the sides. She wore on her a sleeveless shrinemaiden costume, with blue long skirt beneath. The blue skirt has patterns of autumn flowers and leaves and stars.


On her hair placed next to her pillow, was a soft toy of a frog, and of a soft toy of a snake side by side. Her hair was washed, and her face was smiling.


Despite the scars that riddled her, her haggard face, her skin of ruined state... she was smiling.


Kururi can only tell...


If she is in a better place.


Faraway from this world of cruel returns...




=====================================




"Kanako-sama! Suwako-sama! I am home!" Sanae chirped happily as she danced into the hallway of her shrine.


Two of the goddesses came out from the lounge room and smiled brightly at her.


"I will cook dinner okay? Can you both go ahead and take the showers first?" Sanae asked politely.


"Sure, Sanae!" The small one who looked like a 10 year old rushed first into the bathroom.


Sanae smiled.


This is her real place.


This is home.




========================================


[End]



Happy End? Sad End?
I leave you to dry your tears.
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FinnKaenbyou

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2010, 01:10:07 PM »
Dammit, AF. I don't know whether to celebrate or cry after the ending.

...Actually, I do know. ;_;

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2010, 03:52:49 PM »
Thanks Rou, for letting me pester you into reading this~

(I mean, you killed Reimu too, so yeah)
Quote
<AF> ufufu~
<AF> how was it?
<Roukan> It made my heart hurt. :<
<Roukan> I don't even really care for Sanae and it made me sad. The ending was cheerful in a strange way, though...
<AF> that was the save grace
<AF> you know, the way you would look from another point of view
<Roukan> Yeah.
<Roukan> I suppose the problem I had was at times you sort of went into unnecessary detail. In particular you give a passing description of Gensokyo itself but describe a lot of the characters in graphic detail.
<AF> it was to describe how well Sanae designed 'her characters'
<AF> it was to show how vivid her dreams are of Gensokyo. it was necessary evil...
<Roukan> Hm. Sort of makes sense when you put it like that, actually.
<AF> Because in the end, Sanae will die with her dream
<AF> That was all there is you know, it was all a dream, a dream unto death
<Roukan> :<
<AF> and all this came from my sudden inspiration when I read about Touhou dreams in the TARC thread
<AF> I felt that many people have this many Touhou dreams because they not just loved the franchise, but also the hope that one day they can separate themselves from this painful reality
<AF> in a way, Sanae plays the role of you and I
<Roukan> Hm. That's rather pessimistic in a way.
<Roukan> Sanae was flawed, assuming that without beauty she had nothing as a person
<Roukan> And therefore when she lost that, she retracted to a world where not only she was beautiful but she could make up for the mistakes she made with her father.
<AF> indeed, but again, aren't we all flawed?
<AF> I believe Sanae's image portrayed how desperately people wanted to be away from their ugly and not so ugly selves.
<AF> and represent themselves in a much more colorful image
<Roukan> Is it stronger to run away from our flaws, or accept them and focus on our strengths instead?
<AF> well, in Sanae's case, she certainly knew she had no flaws back when she was good looking.
<Roukan> Physically, maybe. Morally? Less so.
<AF> or at least so she thought. But when she was weak and she sought out her strengths and found none... it crumbled within her

true indeed, the story is most inspired by CtC as the original theme, but most of all, it was guided by the feelings of many who wants to travel to gensokyo, to seek out a new life in the colorful world of a dream faraway.

In a way, I suppose it is both a subconscious and conscious way of saying, we all want to be someone else...
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Esifex

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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2010, 08:53:50 PM »
F*cking ouch.

I find that to be a bittersweet ending. It plucks at my heartstrings but makes me smile nonetheless.

♛ Apher-Forte

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Re: AF's APS: Nue Houjuu Buys Something Fun~ [Linked Off Site NSFW]
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2010, 06:21:56 AM »
New Short~

Inspired by a certain Tohonifun doujin~

Nue Houjuu visits Kourindou and finds something she really wanted. However, it costs too much for her, so she resorted to some other means to acquiring her new toy.

What are the extremes she would traverse in order to acquire her wanted thing?

NSFW but no real mention of anything explicit. It is just that it has dildos and such things that I don't wanna risk it by posting here.


Part 1

[nsfw]http://z9.invisionfree.com/Himitsu_Forums/index.php?showtopic=415&view=findpost&p=12452049[/nsfw]



Part 2 later~
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Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2010, 12:26:13 PM »
New Short~

Inspired by a certain Tohonifun doujin~

Nue Houjuu visits Kourindou and finds something she really wanted. However, it costs too much for her, so she resorted to some other means to acquiring her new toy.

What are the extremes she would traverse in order to acquire her wanted thing?

NSFW but no real mention of anything explicit. It is just that it has dildos and such things that I don't wanna risk it by posting here.


Part 1

[nsfw]http://z9.invisionfree.com/Himitsu_Forums/index.php?showtopic=415&view=findpost&p=12452049[/nsfw]



Part 2 later~

Oh god

I have never  thought of Nue ths way. And nice try with that cliffhanger, but we all know Rinnosuke is a chivalrous pervert :P Don't think anyone is gonna fall for that.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2010, 01:04:35 PM by Vicks »
I am a thinker. I cast light on various concepts. I can unveil the world's dark secrets if I so please. And yet, there is a single enigma that even I cannot clarify.  - Renko Usami

I am a dreamer. I wander through countless dreams. If I will, I can even walk the roads of the land of illusion. And yet, there is a single vision that even I cannot grasp. - Maribel Han

♛ Apher-Forte

  • Am I to go home...or shall I stay alone?
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  • Forever lost at sea, a distant bell rings for me
    • Himitsu's NSFW Blog ~ contains NSFW material
Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2010, 04:59:49 PM »
I suck as a person, I will likely never finish this Nue Houjuu story because lol I DON'T EVEN LIKE NUE WTF WAS I THINKING...


She had no eyes.

Well, no, that's wrong. Saying she had no eyes made it sound as if she had holes where her eyes were supposed to be.

But she didn't.

She had a smooth, white, plastic surface where her eyes were supposed to be.

Much like the rest of her, they seemed like incomplete details, waiting for someone further along to paint them in.

She was nude, but her white plastic skin was entirely devoid of detail. Not the slightest hair, or crease, or mark was evident.

She did have the basic human outline, in a tastefully feminine curvature. Small feet, connecting to slender, soft legs. A soft, curvy behind tapering to a slender middle, and then rising to a small, slight bust. Small, slight shoulders holding tender, rounded arms. Small hands, with long, feminine fingers.

But other details were almost entirely missing. She didn't even have ears. The only details she did have upon her face; the gaps for her eyes, her slight nose, and her small, neutral mouth.

She was unfinished.

She did not react to my entrance, only staring forward. If one could stare without eyes, anyway.

I couldn't even be sure she was a person. She did not seem like one, that was for sure.

I decided to try to approach her. Even if she were simply a doll, she did catch my attention, and this way I would be able to get a better look at her.

As I got closer, her separation from a recognizable human figure seemed to increase. She did not move, not even slightly. Her chest did not expand or contract from breathing. She had no eyes for me to follow, to see if she saw me. Her head did not even turn in reaction to my soft, yet clear footsteps.

She simply sat, and existed.

"Hello?" I attempted.

No response.

I was standing right next to her now, and she still gave no sign that she knew I was there.

I waved my hand in front of her face.

She didn't flinch, not even slightly.

So I bent down slightly, moved my face closer to hers, and looked her over even closer.

And I noticed that her nose had no nostrils, and her mouth was firmly shut.

Her head was formed from a back and front piece, but these two pieces had been securely fastened together with tape, leaving no gaps, not even around her neck.

She couldn't have been human. Humans need to breathe.

To prove it to myself, I turned my head to the side, leaned closely to her face, and listened to any sounds that might have been emitted.

But there were none. No air coming in, and no air coming out.

I sighed slightly. She must be some sort of life-sized doll someone had constructed, I thought.

So I placed my right hand on her shoulder, to steady myself as I stood.

And she flinched.

I was so surprised that I instinctively pushed her away, leaping back slightly, and landing on the ground.

I must have pushed harder than I thought, because upon looking back at her, she had fallen from her chair, and had caught the ground in front of her with her hands.

She slowly bent back, into a squatting position, and then stood. The only sound she made was the very slight squeak of her plastic skin rubbing upon itself as she moved.

She turned towards me, raised a hand, and started slowly groping the air, walking ever so slightly forward as she did so, as if she were searching for something.

It took a moment for me to regain my sense and stand. The ideas running through my head were conflicting.

She's moving, so she must be human. There's no such thing as magic, and who would create a blind and deaf android? But why couldn't I sense her breathing? Did she breathe somewhere other than her nose or mouth?

She was almost upon me before I began to think straight.

I moved quietly to the side.

She continued on through my previous position, moving slowly and groping the air.

I was too fascinated by her and what she might be to interfere, though. Too many thoughts to ponder and reject.

Eventually she reached the wall, which seemed to cause her quite a bit of distress. She turned quickly, shuddered a bit, and then moved towards where her chair had been.

But it too, had moved, when she had fallen, and she moved through its old location as well.

This seemed to make her even more distraught. She raised both hands now, groping wildly in the area in front of her, and speeding up her motion forward.

I couldn't let this go on, now. Before, I was lost in my thoughts, but now, she was clearly in distress.

So, I walked up to her, and gently caught one of her outstretched arms.

And she hit me. Hard.

Well, it was more of a swipe than a hit. After I had her left arm, she pulled towards me and swung across with her right.

I let go, of course, and stepped back again.

But she put her hands in front of her face, and leaned in slightly, in a show of embarrassment. She hadn't meant to hit me, I guess.

After a moment, she raised her hands again, and moved in towards me.

I didn't move, and let her hands find me.

Her white plastic hands found mine first, rubbing up and down my fingers, showing me how soft and delicate her own fingers were. They were ever so slightly cold, not room temperature like a plastic toy's, but still a good few degrees below human body temperature. She then ran her fingers up my arms, along my shoulders, and soon found my face.

Her head tilted slightly to the side, as she moved her left hand to her own face while her right hand continued to examine mine.

Her hand ran across my lower lip, then up my cheek, her left hand tracing the same across her own face. It wasn't a strict correspondence, as her features were quite enlarged and doll-like, but she seemed to note every difference as she went. Her hand continued across my nose, then up and towards my left eye.

I reached with my left hand to stop her before she poked in my eye.

She stepped back, and seemed to almost sigh. So much as someone who doesn't breathe can sigh, anyway.

She motioned to me, touched her face, and then shook her head.

I understood. I wasn't who she was expecting. She was expecting a different face to wake her.

I couldn't really communicate my understanding back to her, though. She didn't seem to have the human senses of sight or hearing. Judging by her sealed nose and mouth, she surely lacked smell and taste, as well.

All she had was touch.

So I thought of a way to use that, and tried to communicate.

I grasped her right hand, and motioned to myself, and then raised her hand to her face, and touched it to the gap where her eyes would be.

Her reaction was as blank as her face.

....


(I dunno why I did this)
this story is related to Kigurumi --- Kigurumi is the act of a person (normally male) dressing up in full anime gear and pretending (normally) as the opposite gender, it is like cosplay, except going the extra mile: http://kigup.tigerworks.org/
  <-- my artwork thread, click me!
[ Find my cosplay photos here. ] OMG I HAVE TUMBLR FOLLOW PLZX Will You Remember Me... ?

CS

  • Undying hunger
  • Om nom nom
Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2010, 06:10:21 AM »
Wow, this is really awesome. Your descriptions were very detailed and I can really picture the whole story in my mind as I read it. I really loved your Sanae story, I don't know whether to feel happy or sad, or maybe even both at the same time. I like endings where one could feel both happy and sad depending on how you look at it. If I could write as good as you do I would get easy marks for my English exams at school... >.<

This is a little off-topic, I received your PM the other day AF(can I call you that?) and I apologize for not replying because I still can't send PMs yet. I don't want you to think I'm rude or anything for not replying. As I was browsing through the forums I came across this thread and thought maybe I should try to give you a reply through here. And yes, I do happen to be from Penang. Err... nice to meet you  :)
Madness?

♛ Apher-Forte

  • Am I to go home...or shall I stay alone?
  • *
  • Forever lost at sea, a distant bell rings for me
    • Himitsu's NSFW Blog ~ contains NSFW material
Re: AF's acute pain storyboard: Some random short(s)
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2010, 01:09:40 PM »
Hooray! a fellow penangnite Touhoufan who found the shrinemaiden forum!

thanks for the comment, and I appreciate it!
and of course you can call me AF, everyone calls me AF anyway.
  <-- my artwork thread, click me!
[ Find my cosplay photos here. ] OMG I HAVE TUMBLR FOLLOW PLZX Will You Remember Me... ?