WE INTERRUPT YOUR MAHOU SHOUJO TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN.
AND BY IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN I MEAN NONSENSICAL LIBRARY FIC.
SAME DIFFERENCE.
-----
In the Library, it takes true skill to take a break.
You don't realise how stern a watch Ruro has over the place until you slack off. You'll slump your pose for a fraction of a second, and before you realise it there's a blade jabbing into your back along with a reminder to stand up straight. At the same time, it's frightening how she's always paying attention to you, but it's also sort of impressive seeing how passionate she is for her duty as a Librarian.
Not that that means anything. Really. Just a workmate thing. Yeah.
Anyway, it took a lot of trial and error, but eventually I found a way to bypass Ruro's ever-watching eye. Technically, she could see what you were doing, but if you were, say, reading a book, she wouldn't be able to make out its contents. So if you dug deep enough into the archives - and if you wanted, you could dig preeeeeeeetty deep - you could find yourself a book you like, claim you're reading for the purpose of 'research', and relax to your heart's content. Works for about half an hour before she really catches on, but it beats the 5-minute lunch break I usually have to settle for.
So that explained why I was examining a book studying the evolution of female swimwear, along with helpful illustrations. Researching for Dolphin Rider Koishi, seriously.
This was a dark, not very well kept corner of the library, and that's saying a lot. Clothing Throughout The Ages is hardly the most enchanting of subjects, though I noticed that the books on leggings had been raided often. Ruro obviously found some useful material here.
"Man, it sucks working here in summer."
The library wasn't very useful in terms of air-conditioning. I'd switched out of the usual dress to go for a shirt and cap Ruro had given me as a congrats for finishing Rising Star. After a few initial Captain Murasa jokes it more or less became the norm, and I got away with wearing it rather than the normal library uniform.
Not that anyone wore the uniform, honestly.
"Hard at work, I see?"
Ah, the tuna herself. Sakana didn't sound like she was convinced by my little disguise, but I doubt she cared enough to rat me out to the big R. For some reason, looking at that tuna-half of hers brought up memories that I didn't remember having - riding on it cheerfully, shouting about Love and Justice. Maybe I needed to get some more sleep during work.
"She'll be coming for you in a few seconds if you don't pick something up, y'know?"
I didn't need to remind her - she knew the rules as well as I did. She quickly grabbed the first book she could find and opened it, doing her best to look serious as she examined The History Of Jackets Over The 20th Century. I had to say, I was impressed that she could apparently read the book upside down. We stood in place for a while, pretending to be fascinated by out work. Or at least, Sakana was pretending - I was having a pretty good time myself.
"...Am I the only one who's hot in here...?"
It was a good thing Ruro's hearing wasn't as acute as her sight, and I could afford to talk to Sakana in peace. I saw her eyes glance away from the page to look at me every once in a while.
"I know what you mean...it feels like I'm about to get served for dinner in this heat. Can't Ruro get us some sort of cooling fans in here?"
"Not her style. The warmer it is, the shorter the skirts she expects us to wear."
"Good point."
Sakana's tuna half was flapping around by her side, looking rather tired as it panted. I didn't even know fish could pant.
"I'm getting a drink. You should come along - you look like you need it."
Before I'd figured out this little trick, going for a drink at the water fountain had been my normal way of taking a break. It was one I'd come back to a few times recently, what with the blistering conditions we were working in. At this rate, we'd end up coming into work with no skirts on at all. That was probably her plan the whole time, and it was so ingenious - uh, I mean, despicable.
The fountain was a rickety little thing in the corner of the library, with cobwebs forming beneath the actual sink. It was still usable, but thanks to its condition most people didn't really make much of it. Sakana was first to make use of it, picking up her tuna and running it under the tap. The relief made its way onto her physical body, coming out as a massive sigh.
"Ah...that's better. You want some too, Rou-chan?"
Eh, I'd come this far. I didn't see why not. Sakana had turned on the water for me beforehand, so all I had to do was help myself.
"...Wait."
I took a quick glance at the tap. Sakana had only opened it a little to get the water out, and a sudden wave of curiosity started to overtake me. I reached for the tap, heaving at it to make the creaking mechanism move.
"Uh, Rou-chan, what are you...?"
Sakana looked confused as I twisted at the tap, trying to see just how fast this thing could flow. It was a silly experiment, and Ruro would probably give me a lecture for it later, but in my opinion it was a sign of a budding author to be curious about your surroundings. Hell, this could end up being the inspiration for some short down the li-
Snap.
"Ah."
The tap came clean off in my hand, causing the water supply to cut off with a painful-sounding gurgle. Sakana and I stared blankly at the broken-off piece of metal, finding no words to accurately gauge our response. Yeah, Ruro wasn't going to like this.
And she probably wouldn't think much of the rumbling that was erupting under my feet either.
"Rou, what have you done?"
Sakana didn't seem particularly upset by this turn of events, but as the first member of the Librarian Squad she'd probably seen her fair share of madness with Ruro. Whatever came next after this quake probably wouldn't surprise her.
Not even when it exploded with a flash of light, and the ground beneath me started to feel slightly damp.
"Uh. Well. This, uh...this is explainable."
Whatever magic had been used to power the drinking tap had just backfired horrendously. It had turned itself on full-throttle, and by full-throttle I meant it was up to my waist in about 5 seconds.
"...Huh. That is...yeah. I...well."
Yeah, treading water was a bad sign. Thankfully Ruro had thought ahead far enough to make the books waterproof, so there was no worry about losing the archives. No, all we had to worry about was removing the several tonnes of water that were hastily flooding the library.
Actually, that was probably more of a threat than losing the books. Huh.
"Saka-chan, I think if we shift this discussion towards juuuuuust the right angle we can blame it on faulty plumbing. Then Ruro won't get mad at me and maybe we'll just chat for a while and I'll fix it and she'll think I'm-"
Too much too much too much SHUT UP.
"J-Just forget that. Let's tell her there's a problem, Saka-chan."
No response. I looked to my side for some sort of response as the water started to rise above the bottom floor.
"...Saka-chan?"
Sakana wasn't following me. Besides a few bubbles beneath the surface, there was no sign of her at all. Immediately I panicked and dipped my head back into the water, checking if she was having trouble rising up or if she was trapped under something.
I immediately rammed a palm into my forehead as I saw her walking along the bottom without a care in the world, adjusting some of the books that had fallen out of place.
What am I thinking? She's half-fish, remember?
"I'll be up there in a minute, okay? Tell her it's a Protocol 33-B!"
She threw out a reminder to me, telling me exactly what to pass on as the water kept on rising. 33-B? I'd never really paid much attention to the rulebook - that heaving tome was as long as White Rose, minus everything that made White Rose interesting. Mildly curious, I clicked my fingers, bringing the book in front of me like all Librarians could. The pages flicked along, finally stopping at a list of Protocol. I looked down the list with my finger, finally stopping at the given line.
'33-B = Library suffers catastrophic flooding as a result of a leaky faucet.'
...Well, I'll be damned.
-----
To be honest, I should have expected Ruro to be on the roof before me. That was easy enough to figure out, though I'm not surprised that I didn't see the sand coming. Emerging from the trapdoor out onto the rooftop that had been conveniently built-in for such an occasion - sometimes I wondered if she was Batman on her days off - I found myself crawling onto wet sand as I made my way back onto dry land. Great, as if these clothes weren't ruined enough already.
"Morning, Rou. If you were warm enough to need that much water, you could've just taken a few things off."
I didn't know if she meant it, or if it was just her idea of a joke. ...Wait, that was nonsense. It was Ruro, of course she meant it. But that was one of the things I lov-liked, liked about her. She was lying on a beach chair, soaking in the morning rays in a brave red bikini with a strawberry pattern running along it.
My status report was delayed momentarily by a violent nosebleed. I grabbed at my face to try and look less like a pervert, and failed miserably.
"Um...Wuwo-shama. Iz a 33-B."
"Y'know, I sort of guessed that. After my office started to turn into an aquarium, I had a hunch something like that had happened."
I was only barely listening. My eyes were distracted by Ruro's shape - her clothing, her body, those long, luscious legs she'd never stop talking about...I may have said something, but given the mental state I was in it was nothing coherent.
She reached down beside her chair, lifting up a metallic suitcase and throwing it in my direction. It hit me square in the face, knocking me out of my little stupor and giving me a face full of sand.
"Well, you know the protocol. Go down there and take care of that 33-B."
Wait, how? Was this some part of the book I hadn't bothered to read up on? I couldn't look at it in front of Ruro, that'd make it look like I wasn't paying attention, and that'd earn me some metallic justice in the spine. I offered a fake-sounding laugh as I clipped open the suitcase.
"Uh, yeah, sure. I'll get right..."
I glimpsed the contents of the suitcase.
"On...that..."
There were two emotions wrestling for control over my mind at that point. One of them was shock.
The other was pure, unadulterated joy.
"You aren't allowed to work in an underwater environment without wearing the Librarian Work Bikini, you know."
They were lime green, the same tint as all the official Librarian uniforms, and a flower pattern was running along them. If I could have had my way, I'd have made them one-pieces with names written on them, but I didn't run things around here. I was happy enough, though, and every cell in my brain ceased to function to stare at the swimsuits in adoration.
This time, it was a tunaslap that knocked me out of my stupor.
"Don't get blood on my swimsuit, Rou-chan!"
Sakana pulled hers out, quickly starting to get changed into it. She looked flustered as she grabbed at it, blushing slightly as she started to remove her clothes. Her tuna half worked as a living censor, blocking Ruro and I from seeing anything incriminating. It still gave Ruro a nice view of her legs, earning Sakana a nice thumbs-up.
"Nice show, Sakana. You just earned yourself an extra 30 seconds on your lunch break."
After realising I wouldn't see anything worthwhile until Sakana was finished, I inspected the suitcase more closely. There were several swimsuits, one for every librarian, but the one at the end looked somehow different from the others. It took me a while to put my finger on it, but as soon as I saw the name tag beneath it everything made sense.
It was mine. And it was tighter than anyone else's.
My hands pressed at my small chest as I muttered a few words of envy.
"Um...this doesn't look ridiculous, does it?"
Sakana was done by now, and didn't seem very proud of herself. Looking upwards, I sure as hell begged to differ - ignoring the fact that she was better stacked than I was, the slight hint of embarrassment on her face was enough to make my heart perform a cartwheel in my chest. I needed to see a doctor about that, it couldn't be good for my health.
"Ruro-sama, this is gonna sound slightly pedantic, but I don't think I can stay under for that long. I know I write about a dolphin youkai, but that doesn't make me one..."
It was a shame, too - this was the sort of situation that would only show up in my wildest dreams, and I'd have to miss out on it thanks to these stupid lungs. Ruro frowned.
"Oh, fine. If you need that much help, I'll have to call in the cavalry."
Ruro closed her eyes for a moment, multitasking as she called on the two librarians could call upon on short notice. On one hand, she worked on envisioning the third of the 'main' librarians, basically summoning her onto the scene; on the other, she sent a message through thought to another nearby librarian, who they'd likely need for backup.
Of course, Chaore appeared first, almost instantly.
"Librarian Chaore, reporting for du-"
Her introduction cut off as she realised what she was wearing. Ruro had seen far ahead enough to include the Librarian Work Bikini into her vision, saving the time she'd need to change into it. She didn't even intend to have Chaore go swimming, but why pass up an opening to reveal some pretty-looking legs?
"...Do I want to ask?"
"33-B. You're our equipment handler, so give Rou here a little help."
Chaore was more stacked than me as well. I would have been jealous if I wasn't so busy going through the whole sparkling eyes and dumb-looking smile routine. This was basically one long, beautiful dream sequence for me, and I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding it.
She reached for her supplies where she usually stored everything - behind her bunny ears. In the same way that Chaore had a habit of jumping in and out of existence, she could make her possessions jump in and out of existence as well. Eventually she pulled a tube-like object out from behind her left ear and dropped it at my feet.
I blinked blankly as I looked at it. It was...a snorkel. Which logically wouldn't be much help if I was any more than six inches below the surface.
"That's...uh...probably not going to help much."
"Nonsense! I got that thing from Dracula's Castle a while back. It's a holy relic, okay? Just trust me!"
That didn't sound very convincing, but I figured that if Chaore was making stuff up I'd find out about it pretty quickly. I took the holy symbol from the floor, tying it to my neck so it was in biting distance.
""Ruro-sama. You called?""
Esifex arrived soon afterward, her words suddenly emerging in my mind again. Passing it on to everyone was basically her equivalent of shouting. It was an experience I'd never really got used to, but if the only alternative was her speaking in German then I'd settle for it.
Ruro gave Esifex another order through a thought. It disturbed me slightly that she didn't declare it out loud - that was a sign she didn't want me to know about it straight away. Esifex seemed surprised by it to start, but eventually she looked at me and Sakana.
I got the first stare, and from the looks of it she was peering into my head. Her face twisted a little, looking slightly uncomfortable, but she sighed as she moved on. She looked at Sakana, the same nervous expression on her face, and offered her a pat on the shoulder.
I couldn't tell what she was saying, given that German was a language I wielded about as well as as a buzzsaw, but from the look on her face it was something along the lines of 'you poor, poor thing'.
There was a sudden jolt of pain as my head throbbed for a moment; then another wave of thoughts flooded into my head. Not Esifex's...
"Actually, I guess I kind of like this uniform. I look pretty cute. Not that I'm going to say that, though..."
...But Sakana's.
"Ah!"
Apparently, Sakana was getting the same view of my inner thoughts. Esifex must have put up a neural link between us so we could communicate properly underwater, but now Sakana could make out what I was thinking.
"...You..."
Her face went red, and her hand quickly grasped at her tuna.
"You stupid pervert, Rou-chaaaaaan!"
The tuna slap echoed across the landscape for miles on end.
-----
Well, apparently Chaore had been telling the truth. This Holy Symbol was doing its job - that or I'd drowned two minutes ago and just hadn't quite noticed yet. There were still bubbles coming out with every breath, but despite that I was breathing in just fine. It was magic, it didn't have to make sense.
Changing into the bikini would have been incredible if it hadn't been for Ruro watching. Not that I didn't want her to watch or anything, it's just that it was really awkward changing in front of her and it wasn't like I was nervous about her seeing me naked or anything and-
"Aw, Rou-chan is acting like a classic tsundere, isn't she~"
Sakana took this opening to mock me ritualistically, poking at me every time a thought like that came to my head. She took advantage of the fact that she could speak and I couldn't, taking shots at me while I was unable to offer a comeback. She was misunderstanding it, really! It wasn't like that! She was just a friend! A friend who I found incredibly attractive and cool and impressive and would probably enjoy spending the rest of my life with, but still just a friend! There was a difference, really!
"Suuure."
I was half tempted to spit this thing out and shout at Sakana myself, but I knew full well that wouldn't get me any results. Instead, I decided to settle for tickling her tuna half every time it floated by. I forced a few giggles out of her in retaliation as we dove deeper down into the flooded library.
"So, uh. I wasn't really paying attention. How do you take care of a 33-B, exactly?"
"We need to get to the reception desk first. There's a button there that we need to press."
It was weird seeing the place underwater, actually. Books would float by and almost hit me in the face, nowhere near their original shelves. With any luck, we'd get a day off after this rather than having to stay behind and clean up. Surely that job could go to someone who hadn't undergone a rescue mission...?
Oh, who was I kidding? It was Ruro. No way we'd get out of this without cleaning up my own mess.
The reception desk came into view, the attached computers having shut themselves down when the water rose. Sakana, being of the aquatic disposition, was the faster swimmer and made it down to the desk first, fiddling beneath the desk for some sort of switch.
"Do I get to know what this switch does?"
"It's pretty obvious...there it is!"
Sakana flicked a switch under the main desk, letting off an pleasing little beep. She swam away from the desk, and assuming she knew what she was doing I followed her. There was another rumbling, and the desk started to shift along to reveal a panel underneath. I wondered momentarily if this library was built on Tracy Island.
What could be hidden under the desk? Maybe it was a passageway into the plumbing system so we could plug up the leak. That made sense.
Of course, given that it was Ruro, it made no sense whatsoever.
"...A plughole?"
"A plughole."
The sound of the Holy Symbol was the only thing to break the silence.
This was ridiculous. For this place to have something like this built in, Ruro had to be a genius - a maniac, dammit, a maniac!
"Aw, so cute~."
I missed the days when I could think in peace. Now I had a tuna in my head, and every other thought I processed incriminated me in some shape or form. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that she looked pretty adorable herself in a bikini, I'd have punched her in the shoulder for good measure.
Actually, on that note, maybe I could afford to look at her a little closer. The lime green fabric supported her cleavage handily, while still leaving a lot of her skin uncovered. Her movements through the water were graceful, almost like she'd been born with fins. (She had, technically, but I meant in the more literal sense.) And on top of that, she'd somehow kept the glasses on in spite of going diving.
It was like she was trying to kill me.
Gah, this is bad...
I grabbed my nose again, seeing the water in front of me turning red. I'd already had a lot of fun today, and there was only so much of this my body could take. But at the same time...she was so cute in that bikini of hers, and...
"R-Rou-chan?! Stop thinking like that, you stupid-"
Gah, things were getting faint. The water was getting dimmer - the blood loss was starting to take its toll. Sakana had activated the opening mechanism, starting the draining process - which sounded a lot more complicated than 'she opened the plughole' while basically meaning the exact same thing.
"Y-You pervert! Don't black out down here, alright?!"
Easier said than done. By now I wasn't even sure how much blood I had LEFT, I'd lost so much. On the other hand, this was perhaps the perfect way to die - surrounded by the things that I loved, going out relatively painlessly.
Yes, this was a lovely little way to go. It was perfect...perfect...
-----
"...mmh...perfect..."
I rolled around slightly on the table as a little puddle of drool formed near my mouth. It took me a few seconds to come back into consciousness, realising I was in the library again without a drop of water in sight. I was dizzy, my brain still trying to grasp that everything mentioned above was just a figment of my imagination.
"Rise and shine, Rou. You've been sleeping on the job."
I froze. Ruro was glaring down at me with an evil looking smile. Pain was imminent.
"Now, normally I'd be giving you a little bit of JUSTICE as punishment your sleeping at your post, but I've decided to let you off for a very special reason."
The adrenaline that had built up to brace for impact suddenly drained away from me when it turned out I wasn't getting a beating after all. Ruro looked to her side.
"See, I was curious as to what you were dreaming about...so I had Esifex take a little peek."
The aforemented Esifex was currently grasping her head and standing on the other side of the table, twiddling her thumbs and trying to come to grips with what she'd just witnessed.
I gulped. There could only be one way for this to go. Ruro grabbed my hand and hauled me along towards her office.
"Come on, Rou. We need to discuss this Work Bikini in a little more detail..."
