Author Topic: Well, let me try to write a story.  (Read 3701 times)

Cabble

  • Ask me about my Cat.
  • Not unwilling to shank you.
Well, let me try to write a story.
« on: December 06, 2009, 11:57:03 PM »
Here's an attempt to write a story about my OCs in Heavenly Portal, and some regular Touhou Characters. It would technically be after the events of Heavenly Portal, as this is set in autumn and Heavenly Portal is set in summer. I might turn this into a story, with this being the events of the rest of the games. Maybe not.

-Prolouge-


A fierce wind blew across the Magic Forest, whipping up golden, brown, and red leaves which would soon give way to the colors of winter. Despite being autumn still, a chill kept everybody in their houses, smoke pouring out of the chimneys and turning the air above the Human Village gray.

It had been cold for days on end, and it didn't look like it'd be letting up any time soon. Clouds loomed overhead, threatening to bring rain or snow down upon everybody's heads.

Shizuha and Minoriko Aki walked along the bottom of the Youkai Mountain, observing the beauty of autumn. The leaves had not yet fallen off the trees, but clang on as if the slightest touch might send them flying away.

"Why is it so cold already? It's not even November!" Shizuha complained, clutching her dress as if it were her skin. She had blonde hair with leaves in it, and had a red dress with red, orange, and yellow leaves along the bottom. Her eyes were a golden brown color, which if you looked into them long enough, seemed to change colors. Leaves fell to the ground as she walked past them, which wasn't surprising as she was the god of turning leaves.

"Can you quit complaining?" Minoriko said jokingly, "I don't even have shoes on! My feet freeze every time they touch the ground!"

Minoriko was the younger of the two, but always felt like the oldest. She had a pleasant, almost calming voice, which also sounded commanding and forceful. She had golden hair, and a red hat with grapes on the top, embroidering the hem. She had a light yellow blouse that flares out on the ends. She has a black dress that goes up to the top of her breasts, and straps go over her shoulders. A pinkish-red cloth covers the front with a pattern of wheat over the front. She was the god of the harvest, and always had a smell of pastries and fruit around her. She literally had two left feet, but didn't know why.

The two sisters walked along, feeling chilled to their bones. A sudden gust of air flipped the hat off of Minoriko's head, and it fell to the ground a few feet away.

"Hah, woops." Minoriko laughed, bending down to pick up her hat, when she felt a prick of cold on her head that seemed to be a finger. Minoriko looked up to see a tall woman standing over her.

She had silver eyes and bright, lavender curly hair. She had a white hat sitting on her head, struggling to fit. She had a light blue and white dress which stretched just above her shoes. An alchemy sign for silver was pinned on a white stripe across her chest, and she had a nearly transparent cape.

"Le... le...letty?" Minoriko said, bewildered with a scared look on her face. Her pupils had shrunken down to dots, and sweat ran down her face, despite how cold it was.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you..." Letty yawned as she rubbed her eyes, "I want to find out why it's so cold actually. It got cold enough today for me to go out, and it woke me up. I'm tired as heck."

"Well, it does get cold in autumn. I don't see why now is any different." Minoriko said, her voice still a bit shaky. She grabbed her hat and nustled it onto her head, picking up some of the grapes that had fallen off.

"But it's been really cold now. It even snowed at the Hakurei Shrine. At least Reimu was happy, she got some visitors from it... but that's not the point. This isn't happening naturally, somebody is causing it." Letty said, trying to explain everything to Minoriko in case it became warm again, "But the incident solvers aren't doing anything about it. They think it's just natural, and believe me it's not. I could only get three people to try and stop whatever the heck has been going on..."

"And who are they?" asked Shizuha, joining the conversation.

"You might know two of them from recently," Letty continued, "They're Sakuya, Seven Orange Clouds, and Hikouki."

To be continued...
I had a teacher who used to play radiohead during class once.

ONCE.

Cabble

  • Ask me about my Cat.
  • Not unwilling to shank you.
Re: Well, let me try to write a story.
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2009, 01:23:48 AM »
I got a deviantart (without any art)

http://sevenorangeclouds.deviantart.com/

I'll be posting updates on there most likely more frequently than here. I'll also include some better versions of the chapters and such on there. In fact, it already has a better version of the prolouge with an actual ending.

Also, please critique as much as possible. I'm (possibly) getting my english teacher to help me, but I still want some comments and critiques from you guys.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2009, 01:25:33 AM by Chen the Formless God Worshipper »
I had a teacher who used to play radiohead during class once.

ONCE.

Wylfred

  • The Black Knight.
  • The Eternally Bored Butler
Re: Well, let me try to write a story.
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2009, 02:49:16 AM »
A story with the aki sisters? Awesome, continue please I would like to read more  ;D

Re: Well, let me try to write a story.
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2009, 03:43:42 AM »
Hmm. Sounds interesting so far.