Part 1
I don't like Yukari, that hypocritical, slimy, no-good, two-faced bitch... ahem.
I don't like Yukari.
Yes, the fact that she laid waste to my - I mean, Reimu's - shrine, completely uncalled for, has a lot to do with it. Then there's the fact that, as much as it pains me to admit it, she well and truly kicked my ass in the duel that followed. Not that it implies anything about my martial and magical prowess, mind you. Battles are won and battles are lost, and the outcome of a war can still hang in the balance. And this time, I had every intention to win by any stratagem necessary.
To that end, I obtained technology not normally available in Gensokyo, not even from the kappa, who had a little industrial revolution of their own ever since they somehow managed to get their hands on a fusion-powered furnace. Sure, they had more power available on hand than anyone else, but their technology was still laughable. I wasn?t interested in an order of a thousand bolt-action rifles, after all. No, I was more interested in a collapsible carbine, complete with suppressor and tritium sights. The kind of thing you might find in a U.S. Marine base, if you?re lucky, all of which are located decidedly outside Gensokyo.
It?s not that hard to cross over to Japan if you aren?t restrained to mortal dimensions. There can be a barrier between Gensokyo and Japan, as big and pretty as you please, but it?s not quite that easy to extend that border into the heavens. Then again, good obedient celestials don?t take advantage of the little things like these to sow chaos and wreak havoc. It?s only the bad delinquent ones that do.
Like me.
But I?m getting off topic here. You, dear reader, are not here to read about arms acquisition, I believe, but rather to engross in a tale of treachery and backstabbing. Suffice it to say that I took a jaunt down to mortal dimensions, obtained a silenced automatic weapon (Rifle? Carbine? Submachinegun? Silly classifications elude me), and returned to that section of Bhava-agra above Gensokyo with a few magazines of ammunition to spare and a pack of Marlboros for good measure. It?s good to kick ass, even better to kick ass with style, and best to kick ass with style while smokin? hot.
?Eldest daughter??
That calm, dignified voice always irked me. If I wanted oarfish messengers for whatever reason, I could very well call for them. Until then, they?d best stay out of my way.
?What d?ya want, Iku?? I hoped that my lazy drawl and turned back would convey the message that I wanted her to go away as expediently as possible.
Of course, either she?s denser than a keystone or she?s deliberately annoying me. ?I noticed that you have been visiting the outside world and bringing back items again. Is this such a good idea??
Iku?s been bothering me a lot more often lately ever since my incident. As usual, I ignored her and concentrated on picking out my wardrobe. I wasn?t going out of my way to create an interplanar incident this time around, so the attention-grabbing fluffy puffy peaches ?n? rainbows were out of the question. Skintight, muted, stealthy navy blues and blacks were the new black for Operation: Sneak Up On Yukari And Blow Her Head Off.
?Eldest daughter, are you listening to me?? I did stop and listen, this time. Iku had that barely perceptible hint of indignification in her voice that, like a dark cloud on the horizon, was always a bad idea to ignore. There must have been some electric eel in her heritage, because she could put out a mean jolt, as I and several others had had the opportunity to experience not so long ago. It wasn?t something I cared to repeat; I?m not a masochist who gets off of electrical shocks to sensitive regions, damn it.
So I gave her an answer to assuage her anger. ?I?m just visiting some friends. Now stop pretending to be my mother.? I think it would be pretty safe to say that she could tell that I was being economical with the truth. One does not visit friends dressed in commando gear, unless they were the really special kind of friends for who love means to tap them in the knee with a high-calibre bullet from the next mountain over. The kind of friends Yukari and company are, in fact.
?If you will mature, I would not need to act so.? Yup, the foreboding edge was gone from Iku?s voice, replaced by a trace of melancholy. Thus I went back to ignoring her and finishing my own preparations, tightening the last strap on my suit, slapping a fresh magazine into my weapon, and slinging it behind my back. A few of the smallest keystones I could find went around my waist like a belt of grenades. Finally, the sword of hisou? in keeping with this modern special forces theme I was going for, I had it shorten and darken until it resembled a KaBar. Perfect.
Iku?s voice faded as I walked towards the edge of Bhava-agra and peered over the precipice at the land of Gensokyo spread lushly below. With the threat of imminent earthquake permanent suppressed, the skies were clear all the way down to the ground. If I squinted, I could just barely make out the outline of Mayohiga, looking more homely under the sun than it had any right to be for being the residence of that evil bitch. If my intelligence sources were correct, Yukari slept most of the time, and only awoke if ever during the night, as youkai tended to do.
I leaped, with my arms and legs spread-eagled to control my freefall. The sun was warm on my back and the wind roared past my ears and streamed out my hair behind me. Airborne insertion was underway. Operation SUOYABHHO had commenced.
