Author Topic: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)  (Read 46728 times)

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
And yes, I did make that title as ambiguous as possible. T_T

So, here's the deal. I want a reason to write stories about Touhou. I also want to make a little bit of money. There is a compromise that allows me to do both of these at once.

So, here's what it basically comes down to: I'm offering to try my hand at writing crack fics. Basically, name two characters you want to see have feelings for each other and I'll see if I can make it happen. Any additional suggestions beyond that for what you'd like to see would probably make things a little easier for me. To start with, I wouldn't be expecting more than $5-10 per request via Paypal. Anything extending into H territory would be somewhat difficult for me given that I've never really written it before, so that'd probably call for an extra charge if I'll do it at all.

Now, first off, would anyone here be interested in something like this?

Pesco

  • Trickster Rabbit Tewi
  • *
  • Make a yukkuri and take it easy with me
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2009, 08:40:45 PM »
Quote from: IRC #sm
(11:16:24 PM) Roukan: Seriously though I was thinking of doing something low-scale like crack-pairings on request. Anyone interested? >_>
(11:16:35 PM) Oestrogen: with pics?
(11:16:46 PM) Roukan: That's not my specialty.
(11:16:52 PM) Oestrogen: Meiling/Cirono
(11:16:56 PM) Roukan: Read: I can't draw for shit
(11:16:57 PM) Oestrogen: Cirno
(11:18:06 PM) Pesco: Me/You

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2009, 08:54:34 PM »
If you write ExcelxWriggle, I will love you forever~

...I'm being serious, by the way.  I'd love to see that.  Also, anything involving Rin Satsuki.  RinxReimu, I guess, where Rin is yandere.  And... Actually, I'd be perfectly content to just have one of those~
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2009, 08:56:11 PM »
Shikieiki x Yumemi.

Actually, I'll get back to you later as soon as I get a PayPal account. Someday.

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2009, 09:14:11 PM »
If you write ExcelxWriggle, I will love you forever~

...I'm being serious, by the way.  I'd love to see that.  Also, anything involving Rin Satsuki.  RinxReimu, I guess, where Rin is yandere.  And... Actually, I'd be perfectly content to just have one of those~
Agh, I'd need to go read up on Excel Saga. I watched the first half of it years ago but I don't remember much of it.

The latter I might be able to manage, though...gimme some time and I'll see if I can produce anything.

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2009, 09:57:53 PM »
I don't usually ship characters, but I suppose I have a one that I'd like to see implemented:

Abaddon/Wriggle

As for money...well, I don't really have any...or a Paypal. I just thought I'd mention these.
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2009, 10:00:24 PM »
I once made Xan's head explode with the idea of Shinki/Daiyousei ...

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2009, 10:04:12 PM »
Crap, I almost forgot my absolute favourite Touhou crack ship: MarisaxSara.  Solely because "Marisara" works well as a portmanteau couple name.
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"


FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2009, 10:09:21 PM »
Rou/Imoto
Pesco beat you to it.
...Then again, if you're actually willing to PAY for it...

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2009, 10:12:29 PM »
Just remembered a few more...

Gig/Yuuka
Levin/Sara
Tarma/Nitori

Geeze my fan-side is showing...
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Hououin Kyouma

  • KEEP YA GUNS ON!
  • ARE YOU READY, GUYS!?
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Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2009, 10:15:30 PM »
Yuyuko/Mystia and make Yuyuku 'eat' Mystia
"DUMBASS!" "I'd hit it" "Bear-sona~!" "Critical hits to the nads!" "What you're really asking is... "Will you please beat the **** out of me, Kanji?" "...I Gotta pee." ''Everydays great at your Junes~'' "You calling me a loser?"

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2009, 10:51:00 PM »
Theorist might wanna read this~

---

Reimu Hakurei was never a morning person.

Being a resident of Gensokyo, she had seen more than her fair share of perfect, idyllic sunrises. Being so common they had lost all meaning to Reimu, and in any case she preferred to embrace the morning at her own pace, rather than have a stray ray of light peek into her sleeping quarters and wake her up from whatever nice dream she'd been having at the time.

Look, unless there's some youkai running rampant all over the place, I don't need to get up on time. It's not like anyone visits the shrine anyway.

Reimu buried her head in her pillow, feeling a few strands of her long brown hair brushing against her face. It wasn't that she ever stayed up late at night, she just...appreciated sleep, and tried to have as much of it as she could. Besides, getting up just meant she'd have to start sweeping the place sooner, and of course more time for the dust to collect again afterward. The longer she waited, the fewer times she'd have to actually do it in the end. It was terrible logic, but the general populace of Gensokyo had learned (most of them the hard way) that disagreeing with Reimu Hakurei was, in most cases, a very bad idea.

With some careful adjustments, Reimu became satisfied that the sun was no longer in her eyes. Sighing, she let her body relax and prepared to fall back into her peaceful slumber.

Unfortunately, while her eyes had definitely been protected from outside interference, her ears hadn't. In the distance she could make out music, some sort of string instrument letting off a melodic whine. Too tired to wonder where the sound was coming from, Reimu tried to drown it out by boxing her ears with the pillow, but her reward was the same sound but muffled.

Seriously, who the hell would have the nerve to wake me up like this?

Giving up on staying in bed, Reimu pulled herself to her feet and slapped herself across the face a few times to wake herself up. She slept in her sarashi, but she quickly threw on her typical miko robes as she prepared to have a conversation with the musician who'd decided to perform for her uninvited. And by 'have a conversation with' she meant 'beat the living daylight out of', as was her style.

It's coming from the front yard...from the strings I'd have guessed one of the dead girls, but it doesn't sound like a violin...

The music continued, the whining turning what would otherwise be a cheerful song into a mildly unnerving one. Hauling the front door open Reimu was surprised to find that the player wasn't someone she'd ever met before. It was a young-looking girl (she couldn't say any more than that given how residents of Gensokyo had an awkward habit of being hundreds of times older than they looked) in a simple white blouse and red skirt, sitting in her front yard playing some sort of string instrument that Reimu didn't recognise. An overgrown red ribbon was tied into her short blonde hair, and her golden eyes were focused only on the instrument in her hands as she continued her recital. Reimu felt compelled to interrupt the performance violently, but an unusual feeling ran through her body as she considered it. It was guilt, mainly because it seemed like the girl had no idea how dangerous Reimu could be if angered. Plus, as much as she hated to admit it, the music wasn't actually all that bad.

I'll make an exception for her. That's her one and only chance.

The song came to an end, the musician letting the last note fade into the distance before lifting the instrument from her lap. She stood up, looking at Reimu with a childish grin, before bowing to an imaginary crowd. Reimu saw fit to give the girl a few claps of applause.

“Thank you, miko lady!”

She really did sound like a twelve-year old girl...maybe even younger. If it wasn’t for the faint magical power Reimu could feel coming from her, she might even have passed as human.

Still, she’s definitely a youkai of some sort. I’ll see if I can convince her to leave...

Reimu sighed. She wasn’t used to negotiation, or indeed any form of conversation that didn’t end in blows. She decided to take this one step at a time. Firstly she’d introduce herself – her name was pretty well known, so if the girl knew anything that would probably be enough to scare her off.

“Good morning, little girl! My name’s Reimu Hakurei. What’s yours?”

She was disgusted by the saccharine sweetness in her voice, but she decided that she’d wait until the girl was gone before she started vomiting. The musician smiled in return, pulling out her hand.

“I’m Rin! Rin Satsuki! Can we be friends?”

Looks like she bought the cheeriness...and she doesn’t know who I am after all. Time for plan B: lying to a child’s face.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Rin, but I’m doing something very important now, and I need peace and quiet or it won’t work. I’m not sure when I’ll be finished, so you should probably play it safe and never come back here again.”

“I don’t wanna.”

Reimu mentally reminded herself she had to keep smiling. Rin was pouting like a spoilt brat, almost ready to sit down and start playing again. The shrine maiden was already tired of all this talking, the brightness vanishing from her voice immediately.

“Okay, Miss Satsuki, let me spell this out for you. I was fast asleep until you came along and woke me up with your little concert. Naturally I’m not exactly very happy about this, so I suggest that you leave now before I do something that you’ll regret.”

With any luck, that would do the trick. Maybe she’d scare the girl off with it, but that was better than having to go through the effort of pummeling her like she always had too. Expecting Rin to take the hint, she turned around and began to walk back in, already imagining herself under those soft, warm covers.

“No, Miss Hakurei. Let me spell this out for you.”

Reimu froze in place for a moment, turning back to face Rin. She’d taken her seat again, placing her erhu back on her lap and preparing to play again. Her childish, playful tone remained, even when the subject of discussion called for something more mature.

“I was playing by myself and having a lovely time until you came along and told me to stop. You’re up now, so there really shouldn’t be much to complain about, right? You’re not gonna get any more awake~”

Rin stuck her tongue out at the miko, looking down at her erhu and pulling the bow across as she started her next piece. Reimu was stunned into silence – she’d never seen anyone with the nerve to mock her like that on her own home turf, and quite frankly she had never felt so insulted.

If I didn’t hate you for this, kid, I might even be tempted to respect you for having guts if nothing else.

Reimu shrugged. She pulled out a single paper seal, the most basic youkai extermination tool she had. With a well-practiced swing she threw it to hit Rin in the forehead, an attack which would be more than enough to deal with a youkai of her calibre.

The music stopped.

---

Continue Y/N?

Hououin Kyouma

  • KEEP YA GUNS ON!
  • ARE YOU READY, GUYS!?
    • When Posters Cry
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2009, 10:54:43 PM »
Rou...... you're a A++ English Student right? Because in this entire forum you have best English,  at least from what I have been reading

And continue
"DUMBASS!" "I'd hit it" "Bear-sona~!" "Critical hits to the nads!" "What you're really asking is... "Will you please beat the **** out of me, Kanji?" "...I Gotta pee." ''Everydays great at your Junes~'' "You calling me a loser?"

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #14 on: August 08, 2009, 10:58:13 PM »
Rou...... you're a A++ English Student right? Because in this entire forum you have best English,  at least from what I have been reading
I did get an A for Higher English last year, but I still think it was a fluke. >_>
Plus I'm really just kinda nit-picky with my writing.

Still waiting for a reply from Theorist~

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2009, 11:00:32 PM »
Oh... Oh yes, please continue~ That was wonderful.  Not only the fact that it's a fanwork that actually includes Rin in it, but it's very well written too~
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2009, 11:06:36 PM »
I'll agree with the others and say that was pretty damn good.

...and I don't even read touhou yuri.
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Hououin Kyouma

  • KEEP YA GUNS ON!
  • ARE YOU READY, GUYS!?
    • When Posters Cry
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2009, 11:07:47 PM »
How about doing WrigglexRin next? Theorin would love it~ (now, I got a habit of writing ~ after my sentences now, because of Theorin)
"DUMBASS!" "I'd hit it" "Bear-sona~!" "Critical hits to the nads!" "What you're really asking is... "Will you please beat the **** out of me, Kanji?" "...I Gotta pee." ''Everydays great at your Junes~'' "You calling me a loser?"

Caber Knight Etch-A-Sketch

  • The return of something
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2009, 11:10:38 PM »
How about doing WrigglexRin next? Theorin would love it~ (now, I got a habit of writing ~ after my sentences now, because of Theorin)

Throw a Yuka in there and The Orin will explode again.










~

Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2009, 11:11:11 PM »
Rou/Imoto
Pesco beat you to it.
...Then again, if you're actually willing to PAY for it...
Maybe if you can get your imoto to help you write it

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #20 on: August 09, 2009, 12:25:39 AM »
?Booooring~?

Reimu?s aim had been flawless as always, but the seal never made it to its target. Rin had swiped it once with her bow as it came in range, cutting it clean in half. The entire time her focus remained entirely on her instrument, not even looking at Reimu?s weapon as she destroyed it. Two harmless pieces of paper fell to the ground besides Rin as she returned to her performance. Reimu didn?t flinch, not entirely surprised by the gesture.

Should?ve guessed she wouldn?t have been dumb enough to screw with me if she didn?t know how to defend herself.

She wondered if Rin was deliberately accentuating the whiny undertones of the erhu in order to annoy her. If she was, it was definitely working, as she could feel a vein or two rising in her forehead.

Guess I?m going to have to take this girl a little more seriously.

She pulled out a handful of paper seals, muttering an incantation as she did so. The cards pulsed a light shade of red, a sign that they had been enchanted with a simple homing charm. So she could counter one projectile? Big deal. Reimu wouldn?t be impressed until she could stop five at the very least.

?Let?s see if you?re still bored after this-!?

Reimu let the seals fly every which way, each one following its own trajectory for a second or so. Then, all at once, they flashed a shade of purple and turned on Rin, still distracted by her own music. This had to be it, there was no way she could cut them all at the same time and she only needed to hit once-

?Fly.?

Rin uttered a single word, pointing her bow straight upward with a smirk. A force stronger than Reimu?s charm struck the cards, and forgetting their original goal they all began to rise into the clear blue sky. The five cards struck each other several feet above Rin?s head, and fluttered down around her like rain as she returned to playing her trustworthy erhu.

The hell?!

True to her word, Reimu was impressed by what she?d seen so far. This girl had seemed like a simple run-of-the-mill youkai who would be no threat to a veteran combatant like her, but clearly she was far more of a threat than Reimu had first thought.

Alright, then. Guess there?s no holding back now.

Reaching into another pocket, Reimu pulled out a different type of card. A small incantation was written on it, and it was made of sturdier stuff than the ones she had been using earlier. Unlike the previous ones, though, this one wasn?t designed to be thrown. Holding it between two fingers, Reimu began to recite the spell written on the card.

?Orbs of light, recognise the darkness before me and purify it without mercy.?

The card began to glow as it was activated, waiting on Reimu to complete the declaration. Rin undoubtedly heard the incantation, but she didn?t move a muscle as the miko prepared to end the fight with one blow.

Sorry, kid, but this is the end of the line. You might have lived longer if you knew your place.

?Spirit Sign! Fantasy Seal!?

Completing the chant, Reimu watched as the card flashed rapidly, each flash producing a colourful sphere of light about the size of Reimu?s torso. When the flashing finished there were a dozen orbs floating around Reimu, and in an instant they moved in unison towards Rin. It was just the same attack as before, but powerful enough to avoid any of the cheap tricks which had saved the youkai before.

Hm? She stopped playing.

Rin?s hand had slid under the erhu, a few words escaping her lips. The orbs continued to close in, with enough force to easily wipe her off the face of the earth, but she remained totally calm.

?...The winds look favourably on me, and grant me their blessing.?

Her hand slipped out from behind the erhu, holding out a single card. As it faded into a pure white light, Reimu finally advanced into outright shock.

?Wind Sign, Miracle of Chi Bi~?

The paper scraps lying at Rin?s feet began to float in the air, lifted by an unseen wind. Then, with a single flash, the seals were blown away by a gargantuan wind, a miniature air current focused on Rin herself. Reimu?s orbs were nowhere near powerful enough to stand up to this force of nature, scattering almost as quickly as the seals did. Even Reimu herself was caught up in the attack, knocked backwards into the staircase to the main shrine.

?Aah!?

She heard something crack as her back collided with solid stone. Pain ran up her spine and forced her to grit her teeth, amd she was relatively sure she?d broken a rib or two. She hadn?t taken injuries like this in a long time, and never without doing at least as much damage to her opponent.

Kinda wish I was a youkai now...damn bastards would be up and walking in five seconds after something like this.

?Oh, did I hurt you~??

Rin skipped over to the fallen miko, still cringing from her wounds. Her childish smile was unbefitting given that she had just taken one of Gensokyo?s strongest fighters and basically beaten the crap out of her, Reimu would still probably be a match for her if she?d come prepared, but the element of surprise and Reimu?s underestimation of her strength gave her the edge she needed.

?No, of course not. I?m wincing in pain because I feel like it.?

Reimu expected her opponent to gloat here, maybe finish her off. The last thing she expected was concern from her foe, who proceeded to place her erhu on the floor and hold Reimu in her arms. The miko would have responded, but she was too sore to have the energy to oppose her.

?There, there...this?ll make the pain all go away~?

Rin?s hands ran across Reimu?s back, her fingers glowing slightly as a sign that magic was at work. As she touched the injuries Reimu felt a strange sense of relief, of calm, as if she?d never been hurt at all. Beneath her skin her bones knit themselves back into place, and as Rin broke off the hug the only sign that Reimu had been injured at all was a few scrapes on her robes.

?You...how did you...?

This was a power unlike anything Reimu had seen before. She?d met all sorts of youkai during her time in Gensokyo, but none had ever possessed healing powers like these. Rin beamed another grin at Reimu, taking the opportunity to boast.

?Don?t worry, damage like that is no problem for a Kirin~!?

The name was enough to leave even Reimu stuttering. The Kirin were considered by many to be the most powerful of all the creatures of folklore, and were thought by some to be healers of great strength. No wonder she had been tossed around so casually.

?So...can I get back to playing now??

Rin asked the question nonchalantly, as if nothing had ever happened. Reimu, still slightly in shock, took a minute to comprehend the request.

?Oh, uh, yeah, sure thing.?

...Wait, I?m agreeing!? Why am I letting her intrude on my territory like this!?

Reimu was starting to doubt the words coming from her own mouth. She told herself that she needed to get rid of this girl, but somehow she couldn?t bring herself to do it. There was a feeling here she?d never felt for anyone before, something no-one else had earned from her.

Do I...do I respect her?

Rin restarted her performance as Reimu lost herself in thought. She played her erhu like a virtuoso, adding a devious, mischievous edge to an otherwise overly upbeat song. Reimu found herself getting lost more and more in the music, thinking that it fit the girl surprisingly well.

The song ended, and Rin bowed again to her audience. Reimu clapped again, this time with genuine energy and pride. The musician began to put away her bow, apparently finished for the day.

?Wait!?

Reimu was as surprised by her own outburst as Rin was. This wasn?t like her ? since when was she so worried about another person? And a youkai, at that? It was a feeling totally new to her, and it frightened her to a small degree.

Still...I guess the only way I?m gonna figure it out is if I run with it.

?Well...any chance that I could get an encore??

---

In the end I got my excuse to write, so meh. Don't feel like you absolutely have to pay me for this one, Theorist (though donations are obviously appreciated~)

So yeah, it's 1:30am over here so that's all the writing I probably have time for tonight. If this counts as a sample, maybe it'll get people more interested in making genuine requests, so...yeah. :V

Rin Kagamine

  • 核融合炉にさ / 飛び込んでみたい と思う
  • *
  • 真っ青な 光 包まれて奇麗
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #21 on: August 09, 2009, 12:32:24 AM »
These are really good, but why is Touhou so gay?

Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #22 on: August 09, 2009, 08:18:24 AM »
Evil Eye Sigma and Five Magic Stones

Make a twist where the Five Magic Stones secretly has a thing for Saigyou Ayakashi, but the Stones can't let Evil Eye find out.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2009, 08:45:25 AM by Mr_Bob »

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #23 on: August 09, 2009, 10:23:34 PM »
So, what are the odds of anyone actually being willing to commission something? If I don't get any takers I might just write something every now and then for lulz, but that'll probably be the extent of it...

(And Theorist, you're welcome. :|)

Pesco

  • Trickster Rabbit Tewi
  • *
  • Make a yukkuri and take it easy with me
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #24 on: August 09, 2009, 10:25:59 PM »
Pesco/Kilga

I'm serious. It's like Tewi/Resien right there.

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2009, 10:29:45 PM »
Pesco/Kilga
O_O

Oh god, why do I feel compelled to write this even though you obviously won't pay me? I'm screwed up somewhere, I know it...

Gpop

Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2009, 10:33:22 PM »
I want one of the following.

Koishi x Flan
Koishi x Satori
Koishi x Prismrivers
Koishi x Gengetu/Mugetu (hey, dreams and subconscious are deeply connected).

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2009, 10:46:26 PM »
Here's blood in your eye~

Nero Chaos/Satori (He's got 666 animals in him and Satori's said to like animals so...)

God I'm having too much fun with this, I better stop before I hang myself...
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2009, 11:48:17 PM »
Oooooookay. This is a hell of a lot harder to write than I thought, so...yeah. :/

---

"You are Reisen Udongein Inaba, Townie Lover! You never intended to get involved in all this flower-viewing business, but Tewi has been missing for a while and the princess has ordered you to find her. This leaves you responsible for her safety, and should anything happen to her you can expect Master Eirin to want some...personal time with you.

You are lovers with Tewi Inaba (Pesco47). You may talk in private at any time. You win when the Mafia is eliminated. Good luck!"


The man known on the internet as Kilgamayan read the message he'd been sent with an expression similar to the one he'd wear if someone told him that he was adopted. Being a lover was bad enough, but of all the people he could have been paired with it had to be Pesco. Pesco, the guy who didn't bother looking at actual evidence and ran through entire games on gut alone. He unconsciously started tapping his fingers on the desk to vent some of the irritation.

I'm already regretting signing up for this.

Within a few minutes he'd received another PM, titled 'Quicktopic'. It was a website most Mafia players used in order to leave message for each other without having to deal with MotK's clunky PM system. Along with the link to the page that they would use there was a single sentence: "Let's have fun, うさ."
Kilga ground his teeth together. He'd never approved of Pesco's method of play - true, everyone was entitled to their own opinions, but Mafia was a team game, and play like his usually led to his faction suffering whatever he was. And now they were Lovers - so if one of them died, the other went down along with him.

"Welp, guess I'd better just get it over with."

He opened the Quicktopic, which Pesco had already labelled 'Only Good For Sex Appeal? Post Here'. Kilga found himself gripping his mouse a little tighter than usual, mainly because Reisen happened to be one of his favourite characters and thus jokes of that sort didn't go down well with him.

"Tewi Inaba, Townie Lover reporting for duty, うさ."

With no clue as to what Pesco actually looked like, Kilga unconsciously pictured him as Tewi Inaba herself. It was a process that for most people on the board was disturbingly common, but in a forum about loli shooting games that's probably par for the course. He felt that he at least had to say something since Pesco had gone to the effort of making the Quicktopic."

"Reisen the Lover here. And she's not useless, goddammit."

That was all the talking he needed to do here. For now, there was a game of Mafia to play, which meant there was an opening phase of spam to work through. Fun.

The game was a remake of a previous round based on PoFV, though obviously the new GM had decided to throw a few interesting ideas in the mix. The actual host was UncertainKitten, and Kilga had some mild suspicions that this choice was far from random. By mild he meant he could see UK laughing like a maniac hundreds of miles away, cackling at how she'd paired together the worst possible team on MotK.

Note to self: UK is a miller in the next game I run.

Of course, the random voting had already begun by the time Kilga appeared in the thread. He always imagined this phase as being like children running around in a playground playing tag, making little childish remarks and generally joking around. He resorted to his best-known RVS post:

"##Yuyuko Doll: Pesco47
Vote: UncertainKitten"


Ever since the time he'd vigged Pesco in Patchcon Mafia he'd posted this as a default RVS comment. It was what everyone expected him to post, and it was all he had to say until conversation became more serious, which probably wouldn't be for a few hours at least.

Taking one last look at the Quicktopic before turning to other things, he saw Pesco had replied to his comment.

"You mean as a lab sample, うさ?"

Kilga nearly put his fist through the monitor. Hastily closing the browser, he decided to kill time looking through a couple of Reisen-centered doujins. He'd managed to end up with his favourite character bar Aya, after all, so it was a celebration of sorts.

But still, in half of the doujins he looked through that same white rabbit kept popping up. Normally he didn't really mind Tewi, but now she just reminded him to much of Pesco. It didn't help that apparently the two rabbits were a pairing, which made no sense whatsoever to Kilga - the two were different in pretty much every regard. Reisen was calm, controlled and honest; Tewi was chaotic, mischievous and a habitual liar. In a way the relationship between those two almost seemed to reflect the relationship between him and Pesco, but the less he thought about that the better.

Here's hoping Pesco gets policy lynched D1 by Rou or something. I'm tired of this round already.

---

Want to see some reactions before I continue. Check if Pesco is happy with the monster he's created.

Kilgamayan

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Re: Crack Pairings A-Go-Go (Where Roukan Sells Himself For Your Pleasure)
« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2009, 02:33:36 AM »
what the
[22:40:12] <Drake> "guys i donwloaded esod but its not workan"
[22:40:21] <Drake> REPORTED
[22:40:25] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> PROBATED
[22:40:30] <Drake> ORGASM
[22:40:32] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> FUCK YEAH

[22:28:39] <Edible> Mafia would be a much easier game if we were playing "spot the asshole"