(And awaaaay we go!)YES HE CAN
Part 1: The Amazing Discovery!
Reimu stood at the front steps of Hakurei Shrine, letting her broom brush over the leaves, without actually clearing them. She had been standing at this same spot for twenty minutes now, and hadn't even noticed that the occasional summer breeze was blowing more leaves in front of her than she was clearing away.
Things have really changed in Gensokyo, she thought. Sure, there had always been conflicts and disagreements. It seemed to happen like clockwork, even: year after year, some newcomer would make their presence known by upsetting the balance of things, she would be obliged to investigate, there'd be a danmaku fight, then everyone would have tea. The end. Only this time, it seemed things were getting serious, due to religion.
Pah, Reimu shook her head. Why does anyone in Gensokyo need to believe in anything but the Hakurei God? Without them, there'd be no Gensokyo. But no, there had to be all these other crazy faiths appearing, because some people just had to be different or whatever. And now there was going to be some huge brawl about it. A graceless, ugly fight involving fists and kicking and such. I mean what is that? You might as well have a pie-throwing contest, or mud wrestle. There is no beauty in kicking someone in the teeth.
Reimu sighed and sat down on the steps. Maybe Gensokyo was changing without her. Maybe people weren't satisfied with showing gratitude to the kami and celebrating their miracles. And what would become of her then? She shuddered at the thought.
It was then she heard the sort of clumsy stomping through the underbrush around the shrine that could only come from one of the villagers. She smiled to herself as she stood. Visitors might be rare, but they still happen. So long as someone shows up now and then, there might be hope yet.
Only the person who stepped out of the underbrush was clearly not one of the villagers. For one, he was way too tall. For another, his clothes were all wrong - it was some dark, tight-fitting garment, with a silly red cloth tied in front of his neck. Most telling of all, his expression was one of confusion and not a small amount of fear. Still, a visitor was a visitor, so Reimu cleared her throat, bowed, and began her welcome.
"Welcome, visitor, to the Hakurei Shrine! The god awaits your prayers and thanks. Please do feel free to leave a dona-"
"I'm sorry, my Japanese is a little rusty," the stranger interrupted. "First off ... I want to thank you for that warm welcome ... uh the problem is, you see ... uh I appear to be lost ... uh young lady. Can you tell me ... uh where I am?"
Reimu hesitated. His Japanese wasn't bad, but his way of speaking seemed a little off, in some inexplicable way she couldn't quite place.
"This is the Hakurei Shrine," Reimu repeated, clasping her hands in front of her. "And who would you be?"
"Uh thank you ... you're right, you said that," the stranger continued, and approached. And then he smiled - or rather, he showed all of his teeth, while his eyes remained still and lifeless. At first he extended his hand, but then quickly withdrew it, and bowed. "You mean .... uh you don't know who I am?"
Reimu shook her head. "Should I?"
"I'm Barack Obama ... uh the president of the United States?"
Reimu shrugged. What the hell was he going on about?
"You do know the United States, right? America?"
Reimu shook her head, and furrowed her brow. "Are you feeling alright?"
Barack sighed, sat at the shrine steps, and rubbed his eyes with one hand. And then he began to cry.
Oh no, Reimu thought. This can't be happening. "W-Why don't I get you some tea? Would you like that?"
Not looking up, Barack nodded a little.
"Alright, I'll get some tea. You just wait here."
Reimu quickly prepared some tea, leaving Barack quietly sobbing at the shrine steps. This could be my chance, she thought. This poor, lost soul has somehow ended up here, at my shrine, in need of help. This is a sign, she decided. Show him enough kindness, and she could have a new follower for the Hakurei God. This could really be a turning point for her.
She walked back down the steps, and handed the ceramic cup of tea to Barack. "Here. Drink this, it'll refresh you."
"Thank you," said Barack, and drank deeply of the steaming hot tea.
"So ..." Reimu began, searching for the right words. "You're not from around here, are you?"
Barack shook his head, and looked up at her. "And I don't know how I got here, either .... uh I don't remember a lot, since that press conference ... all the questions, the accusations ... uh it was over-HW-elming ... I had to get away. I just got on the jet ... uh and there was a storm but ... I just don't know ..." Barack took another sip of tea.
Reimu didn't understand half of what Barack was saying, but it was clear to her that he was hopelessly lost. But now, he was hers. All hers. She suppressed a smile as she imagined him in a hakima, doing all the boring stuff like sweeping leaves and changing the ashes in the fire, while she had the time to do all the things she'd been meaning to do, like learning how to sew, or go swimming in Misty Lake, or-
Her reverie was broken by the sound of approaching footsteps up the path. The shrine was pretty popular today! Could this be her lucky day after all? Reimu stood, smiling again. Only that smile quickly dropped when she saw who was approaching: none other than that Buddhist with the rage issues, and that freaky little Taoist twerp.
"Oh no," Reimu said.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
1. Reimu hurries Obama inside before Shou and Futo see him.
2. Shou and Futo spot him, and engage him in conversation.
3. Obama sees them, and runs screaming into the forest.
4. Reimu tries to hurry Obama inside, but Shou and Futo stop her.
5. Shou and Futo see Obama, and immediately attack.
YOU DECIDE IT, I WRITE IT: GO!
