Author Topic: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]  (Read 6274 times)

Moerin

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...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« on: July 09, 2011, 11:39:12 PM »
So, uh, as an experiment in trying to actually get past writer's block, I decided to just write down whatever the hell came to mind and, uh... Well, this is pretty much the product of sleep deprivation, liberal application of power metal and too much sugar.  And I'm planning on doing this again and turning this into some kind of serial, god help us all. >.<  So anyways, without further ado, here's some crap I just spouted out without paying attention to any of that silly stuff like plot coherence and common sense.  Enjoy~! ^_^



The warp spawned mechanical abomination erupted into a violent explosion of gore, scrap metal and black ichor as Lyna punch her way through it's optical plate.  "WHERE IS XODAR!?"  She screamed, her blood-soaked form striking a terrifying vision of pain and death into the surrounding Mechamen.

The nightmare fueled automatons knew no emotion, but if they could feel any at the moment it would most definitely be fear.  If they had the bladders to hold it, their legs would be stained with urine as they pissed themselves in terror.  The little girl, the one they had thought was no threat, was currently biting off the head of their leader, the dread Shaz-Star, despoiler of a thousand worlds and raper of ten hundred stars.

She screamed and screamed as she threw the wrecked robocorpse to the ground in front of her, and snarled at the quivering Mechamen, "Anyone else want to be a hero!?  Take me to Xodar!  NOW!"

After taking a moment to think about it, the Mechamen did the only thing they could at that moment: they activated their self-destruct mechanism, calling in millions of bionic velociraptor ninjas to finish off them and their enemy.  As they erupted in their death throes at the hands of their scaly assailants, Lyna merely grinned a sadistic grin.

"Oh my, now the party's REALLY getting started!"

From her garterbelt she drew her weapon, the almighty Helldamnatus, starforged celestial gatling of the gods, turned into a weapon of darkness after being dipped into a pool of Satan's own semen, said to be able to slay the universe itself if aimed right (although Lyna couldn't aim it properly to save herself).  Laughing maniacally, she let loose a deafening barrage, and the threat of mechanized dinosaur assassins was no more.

Running through the smoking corpses of reptiles and Mechamen alike, Lyna burst through the gate of obsidian and bone that marked the entrance to Xodar?s fortress, an impossible construction built from a hollowed out black hole and consecrated with the menstrual blood of a thousand violated virgins, standing at the center of all creation like a festering wound on the leg of reality itself.

At the top of the tower, she knew he was there.  That darkest of all dark sorcerers, that bastard child of a thousand aborted foeti, the devourer of light, he who fires lightning from his eyes and spits nuclear missiles, Xodar the Terrorkin Deathlord Killslayer, scourge of six billion, five hundred thousand and seventy two worlds, and eater of babies.  She knew she stood no chance against such pure, concentrated malevolence, but she had to face him.  After what he did, there was no other option.

With a bestial roar, Helldamnatus ripped apart the hordes of Mechamen that awaited her in the entrance hall, each one exploding into incandescent light as they were sent into another dimension.  The dimension of being shot to death by a magic gatling.

Soon, Lyna made her way to the main hall, and was greeted by the visage of Winifred, the young, sexy head maid of Castle Xodar, her impossibly tiny miniskirt swishing in the wind as she drew her fifteen foot long katana.

?Greetings, Lyna of the Shining Brightness!?  Winifred smiled as she pointed her weapon at the young girl.  ?She who walks towards tomorrow, Evil?s Apocalypse, wielder of the deconsecrated Helldamnatus and five time winner of the Gol-Sup system?s most beautiful carnage award!  And welcome? TO DIE!?

?I see you?re just as annoying as you always were, Winifred!?  replied Lyna.  ?Only soon you?ll be Wini-DEAD!  Because I?m going to kill you and you?ll die from it!  Ahah!?

With this, Lyna tossed Helldamnatus to the side.  Such a weapon was no use against a katana, let alone a fifteen foot long one.  She pulled out her hairpin and her long, snow-like locks trailed down behind her, her ruby orbs burning excitedly as she charged towards Winifred, pin in hand.

Winifred swung her fifteen foot long katana towards her assailant, but found herself being blocked.  Lyna expertly brought the hairpin around to meet the fifteen foot long katana?s blade and stabbed in into the tip, before rushing past the edge, pin constantly in hand as it ripped through the steel and broke the fifteen foot long katana in half, leaving Winifred weaponless.

?Oh my, you seem to have overpowered me!?  cried the maid, falling to her knees and letting her dark locks, black like midnight, flutter around her head.  ?This battle is yours, Lyna!  Now, finish it!  Do what you must to me!?

?Very well!? screamed the albino berserker, before suddenly forcing a kiss on the maid.  ?I believe you would find this more pleasurable than death, would you not??

The maid squealed in joy, and once again the two old enemies indulged in their usual after-battle ceremony.

And then they had sex!
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Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2011, 11:48:42 PM »
...Did I just read that?

inb4whatisthisIdon'teven

Well, considering the sleep deprivation and sugar high, that was actually pretty fun to read.

I liked the WiniDEAD part. :3

Chaore

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Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2011, 12:02:21 AM »
I can only imagine from the end this is a common occurance.

'Lord Xodar, Lyna is rampaging through our army and killing our men in thousands screaming for your head!' 'What, it's tuesday already? Tell Winifred to go kill her.' 'But sir she seems serious this time.' 'No it's just time for those two to have their weekly duel followed by lesbian sex. Don't worry about it.'

trancehime

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Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2011, 12:34:03 AM »
'Lord Xodar, Lyna is rampaging through our army and killing our men in thousands screaming for your head!' 'What, it's tuesday already? Tell Winifred to go kill her.' 'But sir she seems serious this time.' 'No it's just time for those two to have their weekly duel followed by lesbian sex. Don't worry about it.'

Lesbian sex is like the best thing ever though.

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Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2011, 06:36:44 AM »
This is glorious. And I mean that in the most hipster-ironic sense. I think. I hardly know anymore. I'm sleep-deprived!

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2011, 09:20:48 PM »
Lyna woke up.

It took her a moment to come to terms with her surroundings, but soon enough, yes, this was her bed.  Groggily, she sat up, and after a loud yawn wearily moved the strands of chestnut hair out of her eyes.  After switching off her blaring alarm, she clumsily crawled out of bed and shuffled off to the bathroom.

I had a weird dream again, she thought as she looked herself in the mirror.  Ugh, I wish they?d stop.  Another restless night like that and the bags under my eyes will be the least of my worries.  She splashed her face with water in a vain attempt to waken up fully, and almost jumped out of her skin when she looked in the mirror once more and saw those bloody red eyes staring back at her.

Her eyes shut tightly, and when she opened them again, they were the familiar brown that they?d always been.  Great, now she was seeing things.  That was just what she needed right now.  At least she wasn?t seeing any of those? What were they called again?  Oh right, Mechamen.  How did she come up with this stuff?  At least it wasn?t as goofy a name as Xodar, or Shaz-Star, or Gol-Sup.  And how in all this weirdness a name like ?Winifred? got lost in there she?d never figure out.

Her cheeks warmed as she thought of the maid.  There was? Something about her, something about her face, her tone of voice, the way she carried herself, something that seemed to comfort her.  She would later feel somewhat disturbed at the fact that she found a violent sociopath who was trying to kill her so comforting, but for now thoughts of Winifred only made her feel strangely content.

After washing and dressing, she made her way downstairs.  Her mother had already gone out to work, so she ate her breakfast in quiet solitude and waited until it was time to head off to school.  Soon enough, it was time to go, so she grabbed her things and made her way out the door, marching cheerfully onwards down the road.

?Oh? And what?re you so happy about this morning??  her friend Romana asked her as they met up halfway.

?Oh, um, nothing much,? mumbled Lyna, her face still somewhat red.  ?I just? Had an interesting dream, that?s all.?  Her words were soft and delicate, like cotton floating on the breeze, a far cry from her dream self.

?Oh really?? A wicked smile spread across Romana?s face as the sunlight flashed sinisterly on her glasses.  ?Interesting in what way?  You?re blushing, you little perv!?

?That, uh? Um?? Lyna muttered, before abruptly changing the subject.  The two friends eventually made their way to school, laughing and joking together all the way.



"You let her GET AWAY!?"

The scorched, demonic face of Xodar twisted into a hideous mask of hate as barely contained electrical power crackled in his eyes.  He raised his topmost pair of arms into the air and howled in hellish fury as his massive mountainous frame loomed over Winifred ominiously, like a collosal lightning-struck tower predicting disaster and destruction upon all who beheld it.

"This child... This GIRL!  She appears out of NOWHERE, makes a MOCKERY of my best forces, she DARES to stand against the UNHOLY ABOMINABLE GLORY that is I, XODAR, the SCOURGE of six BILLION, five hundred THOUSAND and seventy TWO worlds, AND YOU LET HER GET AWAY!?  I am beginning to QUESTION your commitment to our GOAL, Winifred!"

"Ah, um, f-forgive me, Lord Xodar," begged the young, sexy head maid, as she got on one knee and clutched the shattered remains of her fifteen foot long katana.  "I... I don't know w-what happened!  One moment she was right next to me, and the n-next... There was a noise, a ringing, and she j-just... Disappeared!"

"INSOLENT WENCH!"  The dark sorcerer's indescribably horrifying face lit up in a flash of lightning, causing Winifred to avert her eyes in terror.  "She is but a HUMAN girl!  And HUMANS do not just DISAPPEAR!"

"Y-yes, my lord," Winifred trembled as she got to her feet.  "I apologize for l-letting this happen, and v-vow to do anything in m-my power to make amends."

"VERY WELL, let it be known that XODAR KILLSLAYER, Master of ALL MALEVOLENCE, is NOT without mercy!  I shall give you one chance... ONE!  To prove your TRUE loyalty, Winifred!  Take with you a LEGION of my Mechamen!  Seek out this girl, this..." The titanic terror that was Xodar hesitated before continuing, before almost vomiting forth in disgust, "Lyna of the Shining BRIGHTNESS!  Find her, find her homeworld, AND DESTROY HER!  AND LAY WASTE TO HER WORLD!  SHOW HER WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO MAKE THE MISTAKE OF STANDING AGAIN I, XODAR TERRORKIN!"

His words boomed around the fortress like thunder and death having an orgy of violence and mayhem, and were answered by the unnatural chittering of thousands of abhorrent Mechamen taking up their arms and marching out to the transports.  They could smell it in the air, the fragrant aroma of war.  They were prepared, they were ready, all they needed was for the sweet confirmation, those words they all craved for.

"As you wish, my lord," responded Winifred, her fifteen foot long katana reforging itself as she spoke.  "MECHAMEN!  TO ARMS!  Tonight we ride out!  The search for Lyna's homeworld begins!  And when we find it..."

"...It shall burn."
« Last Edit: July 11, 2011, 09:24:12 PM by Magical Moerin~♥ »
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"

Aya Squawkermaru

  • "You furnish the pictures and I'll furnish the war." - William Hearst
  • Relevant quote is relevant.
Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2011, 10:44:28 PM »
Oh snap, plot twist followed by another plot twist, yo.

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2011, 01:25:21 AM »
The day passed with little incident, and soon Lyna found herself packing her books away and heading out of class.  She and Romana headed off down the hallways to the front gates, and both took quick notice of the fact that the walls were almost completely covered in campaign posters for the student council president elections.  Not that either of them really cared for such things, although they were a little surprised that, amongst candidates like the head of the science club and a vapid yet popular cheerleader, there were inexplicably posters campaigning for one of the school?s top delinquents.

?Hah, do you really think anyone would vote for Charlie?? asked Romana, with much more than just a hint of derision in her voice.

?If they did, I doubt it?d be willingly, ahah!? laughed Lyna, before stopping dead in her tracks.

?Something wrong??  Romana inquired, as she twiddled with her messy hair.  ?Don?t tell me you?re scared of big, bad Charlie, are you??

?Pfft, as if.?  Lyna headed off back towards the classroom.  ?I just forgot my history book, that?s all.  Wait up for me, okay??

When she got there, the classroom was empty, as expected seeing how classes had already finished for the day.  She swiftly moved over to her desk and looked for the missing book.

?Gah, I was sure I left it here?? she mumbled to herself.

?Oh, is this yours?? chimed a quiet, melodic voice from behind her.

Lyna froze on the spot, before slowly, ever so slowly turning around.  She knew there was no-one else here.  No-one was here when she entered the room, and she hadn?t heard anyone come through the door, so how did?  Whoever that was get behind her?

?It?s very interesting, I must say,? crooned a boy around her age, maybe one or two years her senior, who sat cross-legged upon the teacher?s desk.  A boy, huh.  Lyna was surprised by this.  The voice didn?t sound particularly masculine, for one thing.  But then, it didn?t really sound feminine either.  It was difficult to explain, but it had a strange, ethereal quality to it that made it sound like every word the boy said was a recitation of the greatest work of poetry ever written.  ?The annals of history are full of such wonderful stories, are they not??

His beautiful voice matched him perfectly.  His curled, golden locks framed a perfectly chiselled face like a shimmering halo, and his piercing eyes were a shade of brown so dark they felt like a black hole that seemed to draw you into him no matter what you tried to do.  Add to that his slim, almost androgyne body, and you got the kind of guy Romana would fangirl over for hours on end.

Lyna, however, was not impressed in the slightest.  He was just another pretty boy to her.

?Yes, that is mine,? she snapped, ?And I would quite like to have it back, mister???

?Oh??  The boy carefully closed the book, and gracefully leapt off the desk.  ?Oh, I?m just a friend.?

?No you?re not,? replied the girl.  ?I?ve never met you.?

?Oh, you?ve met me,? he sang.  ?You just don?t quite remember.  But I suppose for now I shall be a stranger.?

?That?s? Nice.  You do that.?  Lyna snatched the book from his hands.  ?What are you even doing here, anyway?  Classes are over, if you hadn?t noticed.?

?Maybe I?m here to ask a beautiful young woman on a date?? The self-appointed stranger smirked as the words left his perfect lips.

?Not interested.?

?Ah yes, I?m not quite your type, am I??  He giggled.  ?Oh well, can?t blame a guy for trying.?

?Uh? Yeah.  Whatever.?  Lyna said dismissively, heading towards the door, before adding under her breath, ?Ugh, what a creep??

She had only just opened the door when once again she was frozen by the sound of his voice.

?They?re coming for you, you know.?

??What??  She cautiously looked over her shoulder, and tightly gripped the book.  It was pretty heavy, so if the guy tried anything it?d work as a perfect bludgeoning tool.

?I said they?re coming for you.  And when they find you, they won?t show any mercy.  You and everyone you love will burn and die, and the rest of this world will follow them.?  His cheerfully melodic voice didn?t change its tone at all, which was probably what creeped out Lyna the most.

??Uh-huh.  Right.?  She cautiously edged away from the crazy guy.  ?That? That?s nice.  I?ll see what I can do about that.?

?Of course you will.  You?re the only one who can do anything about them.  Why else would they be after you??

?Look, whoever the hell you are,? Lyna seethed. ?Just drop the creepy, cryptic act already.  Do you act like this to every girl who turns you down??

The boy simply laughed at this.  ?Things are moving into place far faster than you realise, Lyna of the Shining Brightness.  They will come to this place, that you cannot change.  But maybe, just maybe, there?s something you can change.?

?Oh really?  Could you be any more vague there??  The girl was close to breaking point, her teeth gritting and her hands tightening into fists.  ?And where the hell did you hear that title?  Tell me now? WHO ARE YOU!??

The boy walked up close to Lyna, and somehow she found herself frozen yet again as he leaned over and whispered softly, ever so softly in her ear?

??I?m just a stranger.?

And with that, he left, leaving the dumbfounded and enraged Lyna standing in the doorway, clutching her book.



Hmmm... I know I'm supposed to be making this all up as I go along, but I think I have a vague plan for a plot in my head already. >.>  But we'll see where this goes.  I'd like to take this opportunity to say that comments are not just welcomed, they are requested, as whilst I do quite like this as a writing exercise, I'm not entirely sure if it's working as a piece of literature or not.  Ahah, sorry, I'm just unsure about everything, aren't I?
« Last Edit: July 14, 2011, 12:30:26 PM by Magical Moerin~♥ »
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"

Aya Squawkermaru

  • "You furnish the pictures and I'll furnish the war." - William Hearst
  • Relevant quote is relevant.
Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2011, 01:54:40 AM »
I'd say it works pretty well. I'm no literary critic, but I'm liking this quite a bit.

The more recent updates are much better than the first in terms of style, but that's to be expected due to the first one having a lack of sanity.

Although, I do find it a bit odd that this new character claims to know her, even though he wasn't in that one "dream". Well, whatever, not that important.

Re: ...Did I just write that? [Original, bereft of sanity]
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2011, 05:46:52 AM »
No reason he can't have been in a previous "dream." :3